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I don't know if you've heard, but "the state of Florida is where woke goes to die," Florida Gov. and 2024 Republican presidential nominee hopeful Ron "I Hate Disney" DeSantis declared during a campaign event. "We must fight 'the woke' in our schools. We must fight 'the woke' in our businesses. We must fight 'the woke' in government agencies."

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Here in California, it seems like some parents and school board members agree. Woke is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad state of being. Embracing diversity is bad. Teaching true American history is bad. Questioning the status quo is bad. Ban critical race theory (CRT)! Ban rainbow flags! Ban books! Don't say gay! Global warming is fake! COVID is a hoax! Trump won! Guns don't kill people!

"I love the poorly educated," Trump said, and they apparently love him too.

I bet these California "activists" wish they had a governor like DeSantis who signed the Stop WOKE Act (Stop Wrongs to Our Kids and Employees Act) instead of California Gov. Gavin Newsom who threatened the Temecula Valley Unified School District with a $1.5 million fine after it voted to expel mention of gay rights activist Harvey Milk from its social studies curriculum. The district capitulated but also hired former Paso Robles school district board President Chris Arend as their CRT consultant for $15K because apparently expressing bigotry and ignorance makes you an expert in CRT and perfect for giving presentation to teachers on how to avoid teaching kids that racism exists.

We certainly wouldn't want people (especially children!) thinking about or discussing systemic racism, gender equality, LGBTQ-plus rights, or—shudder—diversity. They might start getting ideas about how to fix social ills and create equity, right? What's truly crazy is a lot of these hyper-conservatives don't believe in the theory of evolution despite watching words evolve right before their very eyes. "Woke" used to mean being aware of racial prejudice and discrimination, but thanks to wackadoodles like Gov. DeSantis and some members of the euphemistically monikered Moms for Liberty, "woke" is the pejorative du jour, the new stand-in for "snowflake" or "libtard."

New Times obtained some screenshots from the SLO County chapter of Moms for Liberty's Facebook page where members were discussing removing books from public and school libraries and bookseller Barnes and Noble. "Who here is upset with some of the trashy library books they have let into our children's school libraries for our children to see?" asked SLO County resident Erin Westmoreland. "Let us know if you want to help make a change in our schools' libraries. We need your help to get this to stop!"

"I just removed two transgender picture books on the 'New Arrival' shelf in the children's section at the Morro Bay Library," Megan Shanley Warren posted. "Yes, we love everyone, but do we need to shove it down our children's throats?"

Another member, Kat Fitzpatrick Helmick, published a picture of a Barnes and Noble bookshelf that stocked LGBTQ-plus books such as My Two Dads and Me, Molly's Tuxedo, and Sparkle Boy.

"They were serious when they said that they were coming for our children," Helmick wrote.

"I'd check them all out and never return them," member Taryn Via commented under a post mentioning the book All Boys Aren't Blue purportedly available in the Paso Robles High School Library. "Paying the 'lost' fee is worth it. Then we'd use the books as fire kindling."

Yikes! You should probably ban Fahrenheit 451 ... or is that your Mein Kampf? Remind me. How do you define "liberty"?

When asked directly, the local Moms for Liberty chapter denied they were hoping to ban or remove library books: "The chapter of Moms for Liberty San Luis Obispo is not seeking to remove any books from public libraries. Thank you for your interest. Have an amazing day!" they glibly winked via email. Amazing. Day. Have one.

In March, two Paso Robles parents filed formal opposition to the district's adoption of an AP Chemistry textbook because it referenced the United Nations' global sustainability goals. Oh my god! How dare it! Consideration of global climate change is much too woke, and the United Nations smacks of the One World Government idea. Wouldn't want our kids to know anything about any of that. Of course, it could be that the two parents just don't like chemistry because you can't trust atoms! They make up literally everything! Bada-bing-bada-boom!

All this reactionary anti-woke hysteria and fear of inclusion has gotten so bad that state Superintendent of Public Instruction Tony Thurmond created a task force to monitor school textbook publishers and lobby them to include more honest and inclusive portrayals of California's diverse population. Yep, we apparently need a task force for that.

Look, I understand parents' rights, but if you want to keep your child ignorant about the truth of American history and culture, then homeschool them and let the rest of us get on with fixing the world and educating a new generation of openminded critical thinkers and empaths.

You're not trying to ban CRT. You're trying to ban history and anthropology, and your white fragility or homophobia or whatever is driving your desire to keep children ignorant of the facts is sad and more than a little pathetic. Banning books isn't the answer, and neither is making "woke" an insult. Δ

The Shedder is woke AF. Deal with it at [email protected].