David vs. David 

There's trouble ahead for Cambria if the Cambria Community Services District gets its way—and doesn't it just always, almost get its way.

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Looking back at the Little CSD That Couldn't's troubled history is a lesson in why the district may be attempting to do exactly what it's trying to do now. After a stalemate with the Coast Unified School District over a water well on high school property, the CSD threatened the school with eminent domain.

"If you don't give us what we want, we're just going to take it," the CSD said but didn't say, if you know what I mean.

But it doesn't just want to own the land that contains the water well and the infrastructure that goes with it, the CSD wants to own an additional 2.2 acres of that property and a school district irrigation well and give the school district an access easement. Wow. The balls on this community services district!

Why? "More security," according to General Manager Matthew McElhenie. Are there break-ins I don't know about?

The CSD is sick of paying the damn rent. It's too damn high.

"It is both grossly inequitable and untenable to continue to pay rent for temporary rights to use the well facilities in perpetuity, which at this point, serves only as profit generation for CUSD," the CSD's April 11 staff report states. "Under temporary agreements, CUSD can simply refuse to renew, and demand that the district remove the well facilities and/or cease their use."

But that's what happens when you don't own property and you rent it. You pay someone else for the right to use it—even if it's exorbitant. In SLO County, the median rent for a one-bedroom apartment is more than $2,500. You think I can initiate an eminent domain claim so I can move on up out of my cardboard box? Rent serves only as profit generation for the apartment owner, amirite?

Under a series of agreements the two entities have had since 2000, the school district granted the CSD an easement to drill and have access to a new water well due to an emergency situation. A Chevron gas station contaminated two of the CSD's water wells, and the Central Coast Regional Water Quality Control Board (could they make the agency's name any longer) ordered the CSD to close the wells and Chevron to clean up its mess and pay for the CSD's alternate source of water.

Twenty-four years later, the pollution's all cleaned up and the CSD seems to believe that it has a right to that "emergency" well, the property, and the water that comes out of it. Not only that, it's chastising the school district for following the terms of the contract they both agreed to.

Weird.

Kind of like the whole emergency water supply facility debacle, which the CSD spent money on, built, and almost started using with the help of an emergency permit from the state. Almost a decade later, the name has changed a half dozen times and the CSD wants to use it on a permanent basis but is still attempting to get it permanently permitted. Better to ask for forgiveness than beg for permission or whatever (I don't think they did that right)?

Hey, the CSD is paying back a loan at the rate of $660,000 a year for a facility it can't even use. That's fiscal responsibility, amirite?

Meanwhile, McElhenie is upset that the district has paid the school district more than $765,000 since 2000 for access to water that now makes up 20 percent of the water supply for Cambria residents. Sounds like a screaming deal when you compare it to the emergency water facility disaster. It's a steal for ratepayers, who are actually getting some bang for their bucks.

But the CSD thinks it can do one better. The portion of high school property it wants was appraised for $151,000, according to the CSD. So that's the least it thinks it can pay to gain ownership over not only the well it's using, but also the school district's well and some creekside property. That does sound better than the final offer from the CUSD of $26,000 a year for the next 99 years, doesn't it?

I wonder how much the attorneys will make in the deal? I hope for Cambria's sake that the aggrieved parties can resolve their differences on April 24. The David vs. David situation is not good for local residents, who are already choosing sides.

Meanwhile in a David vs. Kind of Goliath situation, the SLO County Clerk-Recorder's Office is refusing to pay Darcia Stebbens what the court says it owes her: a measly $640. After the North County accountant paid the county almost $50,000 for the 2022 2nd District supervisor race recount and the county took her to court over what it said was the $4,000-plus remaining on her bill, a judge ruled that the clerk-recorder actually overcharged Stebbens.

As much of a joke as I've made of this saga and Stebbens' election denialism, if the county owes her money, it should pay her. She footed the bill and paid more than her due. It's time for Clerk-Recorder Elaina Cano to cough it up—even if county counsel found a legal loophole. Δ

The Shredder doesn't pay rent. Send housing options to [email protected].