Rigged! 

If you're a tenant who lived among the rats, cockroaches, bed bugs, peeling paint, and leaky faucets at the Grand View Apartments in Paso Robles—the rigged justice system just screwed you over. You're about to get kicked into the mean, unaffordable streets of SLO County, where rents are too damn high and the vacancy rates are too damn low. Congratulations. It shouldn't take more than a year to find a new spot to lay your burdens down. I hear it's legal to live on the streets now, so, you've definitely got that going for you.

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SLO County Superior Court Judge Ginger Garret ruled in favor of the slumlords who own your building, allowing the "dazed and confused" Ebrahim and Fahimeh Madadi to get out of their obligation to make their units livable. Remember the Madadis? Yep, they're the ones who claimed they had no knowledge about how shitty their apartment complex was—despite multiple complaints with code compliance, pulling security deposits, and charging people to fix problems the landlords should definitely have taken care of.

Apparently, they were just completely in the dark until their tenants sued them earlier this year. At that time, Ginger was on my list of favorites! She ruled in favor of the tenants, putting into place a temporary restraining order that prevented the Madadis from collecting rent or retaliating against their tenants until the place got all fixed up.

"But, but, but ... ," the Madadis complained. "That's going to cost us $2.5 million!"

"Oh my heavens!" no one said. "You poor folks, saddled with the responsibility of running a rental business the way you're supposed to."

With 54 apartment units renting at an average of $1,500 a piece, you'd think they could have figured out how to get some maintenance done, but nope. That's $75,000 a month or more for the Madadis pockets, baby! Now, they're just going to shut 'er down.

Is it just me or does evicting tenants sound like retaliation?

Now, Judge Garret and I are no longer on a first-name basis. She's moved off the good list and onto the naughty! And with Christmas just around the corner, if Costco and Home Depot are any indicator. Halloween comes first, people! Then Thanksgiving. And then, you can put up your lights and trees, and creepy blow-up Santas.

Tenant complaints about living conditions have resulted in nothing good. How's that for teaching people standing up for their rights a lesson? It's shitty. And will probably give anyone who's got any bright ideas of complaining about their living conditions pause. Remember what happened in San Luis Obispo?

The City Council passed a rental inspection law that would have held landlords accountable to a set of standards, homeowners freaked out about it, and freshly elected newbie Mayor Heidi Harmon enabled her equally newby fellow City Council members to overturn the ordinance—promising to come back to it and pass something better. What's happened since then? Nothing.

Oh, not nothing. My bad. Businesses aren't allowed to use plastic straws, the city is supposed to install $2 million worth of bollards to help block off Higuera for the Downtown SLO Farmers' Market (When is that happening?), and we are attempting to lead the country in environmental regulations that push us toward net zero carbon emissions.

But standing up for the people who need it? Nothing.

Hey, guys, chin up. Halloween is right around the corner! And the "candy man" is back—well at least according to a bunch of randos calling the SLO Police Department and San Luis Property Management, which sent a warning to its tenants (See, there is at least one good landlord out there! Hope!).

"Please be aware of this person," the property management company stated in a letter. "Do not allow them to enter your apartment."

That's generally good advice about strangers who come to your door. So high five.

Folks seem concerned that a candy salesman is going to steal their electronics. Back in 2018, a similar rumor was circulating around town and the SLOPD had the same response. It's just a rumor. Let the dude sell his candy.

He may not be Willy Wonka, but he just might be able to wrap rainbows in a sigh and turn it into groovy lemon pie. He could cover a sunrise and dew with a chocolate miracle or two. He may not be Sammy Davis Jr., but he just might be able to dip tomorrow in a dream—and maybe he can even "Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream." Does any of that sound creepy to anyone else?

Adults shouldn't sing about candy. And I guess, adults should also leave the door-to-door candy selling to the kids.

That's how rumors get started!

I heard a rumor that the city of SLO finally got rid of Building Inspector And Drunk Elbow Thrower Chris Olcott. It only took three years, a video of Olcott's assaulting a woman at a bar in Avila Beach to come out this summer, and the city's residents to freak out about it for SLO to separate from Olcott in what city Human Resources Director Monica Irons told the Tribune was a "confidential personnel matter."

That's B.S.!

Meanwhile, Olcott is spending his time behind bars in a cushy, private prison because he's got the money to pay up to $185 a night. I think I should become a building inspector. Δ

The Shredder's not rigged like the justice system. Send comments to [email protected].