Prepped and primed 

Why does it take emergency situations for the faults in our systems to shine so bright?

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Whale Rock Reservoir had water flowing out of it for the first time in years, much to the jubilation of most of SLO County—and the chagrin of a select few lucky residents in Cayucos. On March 13, as the next in an endless set of storms was set to pound the coast, the county sent out a cute little warning to those who own property or live on 24th Street between Cass Avenue and Morro Strand Beach.

"Due to the high flow release from Whale Rock Reservoir combined with continuing rain, residents on 24th Street may experience property flooding," the county stated.

We're in control of how we release water from our reservoirs, right? We knew storms were coming and that we were going to get pounded. We can't think ahead just a tiny bit and do it in a way that prevents flooding? Isn't that the whole point of controlled releases?

Chimney Rock Road near Lake Nacimiento is once again out of commission, stranding the same 100 residents who were stranded after the January storms. The "fix" isn't going to be so simple this time, since a whole chunk of the road is gone, likely washed away to some spot along the Salinas River somewhere in Monterey County.

Whose fault is it? Well, that very much depends on who you ask in SLO County government. One official New Times spoke with initially blamed Monterey County and the releases it authorized to keep the lake from overflowing, and another official simply blamed the rain. Boring! Getting upset with Monterey County really fits with my frame of mind, my conspiracy setting, you know?

I might just go with that one, because blaming the rain is so January! Monterey County really does a number on Lake Naci with all of its regular water releases for Salinas Valley farmers, leaving the reservoir all dried up when it's time for water fun in the middle of the summer—and it really pisses off SLO County residents who live around Naci! I'm down with that anger! Come on, Monterey County!

The unusually high lake levels were helping keep Chimney Rock Road stable, according to SLO County. But Monterey County had to release some Naci water due to the atmospheric rivers predicted from March 10 to 14, leaving the road high and dry until runoff filled the reservoir back up and all of that rushing water barreled through the soil and sediment holding the road up. Now there's a gaping hole where the road used to be, and a creek where there once was lake water.

Don't worry, though, stranded residents. The county is putting a plan together! Will it be a boat trip? Will you get the option of hanging out at the Paso Robles Event Center for the two months they estimate it will take to fix the road? Stay tuned!

Isn't this winter fun?

We've had more rain than we can handle following a prolonged drought. Unfortunately, one year of 150 percent above average rainfall doesn't fix this state's water issues or refill the groundwater basins that so desperately need it. We haven't exactly built a water system that's reliable or efficient, and building higher dams won't fix a damn thing because we still won't have enough water when we really need it—which is in a drought, people.

It snowed multiple times in SLO County this year. Multiple times. This happened in areas that would stare in wild-eyed wonder at one snow every 10 years.

What is going on? This cocktail of polar vortex and Pineapple Express, shaken not stirred, is making it hard to see straight. County, city, and community services district officials, though, are patting themselves on the back for seeing straight during this last set of discombobulating deluges.

"We were prepared!" they told New Times. "We did all the things we were supposed to."

Slow clap, everyone.

The things they didn't do before that fateful January set of storms taught everyone in this county some hard lessons—like why it's important to clear built-up debris out of water ways, shore up aging infrastructure, and put out evacuation warnings before things get too dire.

The Arroyo Grande Creek levee had gopher holes in it, for heaven's sake! After fixing the south-side levee breach that flooded out homes and farm fields in Oceano during January's storms, the county decided it better fill in all those gopher holes on the north side of the levee.

Thank God for lessons, amirite?!

In Los Osos, Community Services District Director Ron Munds camped out in the pouring rain on March 14, watching the water basin that pushed a gigantic mudslide into almost 30 homes on Jan. 9. I guess he wanted to make sure the district's "temporary" fix was indeed enough of a fix.

All the water that would have filled that basin was instead pumped out to Pecho Valley Road, a new spillway that Los Osos installed in January with a thumbs-up from the county!

But watch out, drivers, heavy flowing water could affect your vehicle's performance.

"It shoots out like a water cannon onto Pecho, and that's when it's dangerous for traffic," Munds said.

You don't say. Δ

The Shredder is riding that water cannon into the sunset. Send surf boards to [email protected].