Be very afraid 

This just in:. Mutated creatures have overrun Los Osos Middle School, and the site has been quarantined with civilians and children inside. According to military sources, flight YF-155 departed from Vandenberg Air Force Base bound for Area 55, carrying genetically engineered organisms (GEOs), but the aircraft never reached its destination. B, bred as a destructive fighting force consisting of these mutated creatures, began to crack through their container confinements aboard the C-130 military aircraft, forcing the crew to drop the cargo boxes over the Pacific Ocean to protect the crew from harm. Unfortunately, wind shear hit the cargo’s parachutes, and it drifted toward Los Osos Middle School.

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• PHOTO BY STEVE E. MILLER
• CRAFTY KIDS : At Los Osos Middle School, Greg Wilcox (bottom left) sat with his students in the Spider Room (not yet completed), which is part of their Area 55 Haunted House creation.

Area 55 is a top-secret government research facility somewhere in the California desert. It houses an array of complexes dedicated to the creation of experimental organisms (or GEOs)for military utilization. In short, many earthly creatures, common animals, and even humans have been modified to be used for all kinds of government purposes, in turn creating some dangerous and downright scary creatures. These GEOs are now loose on the Los Osos Middle School campus. Fortunately, with the help of volunteer search teams, the Federal Safety Administration (FSA) has cordoned off the school and is seeking to provide aid to those trapped at the site.

This horrifying scenario is purely fantasy, but it provides the basic framework for the Area 55 Halloween tour, one of the premier haunted tours of the Halloween season. It’s the brainchild of Greg Wilcox, a teacher at Los Osos Middle School, and he’s done an amazing job of bringing on the scare. This isn’t some thrown-together, blood-and-guts haunted house. It’s been in the planning stages for two years, and some top-notch people in their respected fields have helped make Area 55 a reality.

The volunteers who helped create this experience include a makeup artist for the set of Spiderman, a retired nuclear physicist, a prominent sound engineer for many Hollywood productions, and team members from the Central Coast’s Ethereal FX for dramatic effects and lighting.

This is a big production, and the kids who are voluntarily working to put it together are having a great time learning all kinds of real-world skills through hands-on experience. When asked if they were having fun, the students replied with a resounding, enthusiastic, “Yes!”

Tickets for Area 55 cost $10 each or two for $15 and can be purchased at the door. There’s also a $2 off coupon on the “Area 55 Be Scared” Facebook Page. All proceeds from the event will be divided among the participating departments.

Area 55 will be happening at Los Osos Middle School, 1555 El Moro in Los Osos, on Oct. 26 and 27 from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Each tour lasts about half an hour. Parking is in a lot right next to the campus, and there will be people directing traffic for your convenience. For more information, contact the school office at 534-2835.

Fast facts

Veterans Outreach of San Luis Obispo County is holding an event for veterans at Margarita Adventures called Ziplining and Lunch on Saturday, Oct. 27, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. To register, call 781-4285 or e-mail [email protected]. Participation is free. Other events with Veterans Outreach include rock climbing, golfing, hiking, barbecues, surfing, and much more.

The 34th annual Oktoberfest will be happening Sunday, Oct. 28, from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. in the Baywood Park area of Los Osos, along 2nd Street. There will be a car show, a four-mile run, arts, crafts, food, and activities for children. Registration for the run starts at 7:30 a.m., and there will be a pancake breakfast from 8 to 10 a.m. Live music and entertainment will include Die Morro Musikanten, presenting a variety of polkas and waltzes; and Claddagh Dance Company, the premier Irish dancing school in Southern California. Panga, Suspended in Motion, Funk in Public, and Zumba with Sally will also perform.

Intern Sarah Childers compiled this week’s Strokes. Send your business and nonprofit news to [email protected].