Pick your NYE party! 

When you think about it, celebrating New Year's Eve is stupid. For starters, our calendar is almost entirely arbitrary. Yes, a year is considered 365 days (except leap years), and a day is 24 hours (except because of Earth's elliptical orbit, it can vary by minutes).

Our Gregorian calendar happens to mark Jan. 1 as the start of a new year, but other calendars in use don't (Jewish, Islamic, Indian, Chinese, and Julian, anyone?). And perhaps most importantly, nature, physics, and the cosmos do not know it's a new year and do not care, yet here we go again.

I personally avoid New Year's Eve celebrations (amateur hour!), but if you're not like me and want to go party like it's 1999 (or 2024), below are five local live music extravaganzas to choose from on Sunday, Dec. 31.

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• Photo Courtesy Of SLO Brew Rock
• HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE Soul-funk act Orgone headlines SLO Brew Rock's massive New Year's Eve celebration on Dec. 31.

If you're in SLO Town, the biggie is SLO Brew Rock's New Year's Eve 2024 Boogie Wonderland with funk, soul, and R&B acts Orgone and The Charities, plus music by DJ collective Soul Dust Productions on the main stage (8 p.m.; 21-and-older; $100 presale at ticketweb.com). "Celebrating New Year's Eve has become a tradition at The Rock, and we consider it our favorite event of the year!" the club announced. "We will transform our entire two acres into a boogie wonderland for your pleasure and enjoyment." In the Barrel Room Club, hear DJ Jose Madre, in the Speakeasy Lounge, check out Americana band Moonshiner Collective. Your ticket includes three drinks, light bites all night, and a "massive balloon drop."

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• Photo Courtesy Of Bon Bon Vivant
• A NIGHT IN NEW ORLEANS Bon Bon Vivant plays New Year's Eve at The Siren on Dec. 31, bringing their NOLA sounds to Morro Bay.

If you're in SLO and extra sophisticated and classy, I recommend OperaSLO and their New Year's Eve Gala: From 42nd Street to the Met in Cal Poly's Performing Arts Center (7 p.m.; $52 at pacslo.org), with special guests Ballet Theatre San Luis Obispo, Central Coast Gilbert and Sullivan, and the Cuesta College Concord Chorus, along with the Opera San Luis Obispo Grand Orchestra and Chorus conducted by Brian Asher Alhadeff. You can sit in comfort and revel in a visual and sonic feast of opera and Broadway show tunes.

If you're on the north coast and want a taste of NOLA, head to The Siren in Morro Bay for a New Year's Eve party with New Orleans party band Bon Bon Vivant (8 p.m.; 21-and-older; $54.75 at tixr.com). This amazing band has a terrific frontwoman in Abigail Cosio, who's got a thrilling voice and serious guitar chops. Add in a phat horn section and wowza!

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• Photo Courtesy Of Vivian Storm
• STORM IS COMING Vivian Storm is one of two performers at Gala Pride and Diversity Center's Neo Noir New Year's Eve on Dec. 31, at the Benedict in Morro Bay.

If you're on the north coast and LGTBQIA2S (look it up) or just want to party like it, Gala Pride and Diversity Center presents Neo Noir New Year's Eve at the Benedict in Morro Bay (1401 Quintana Road; 21-and-older; general admission is $50 and VIP $75 at my805tix.com). You'll enjoy music by Miss Ashley Brown, best known as playing Mary Poppins on Broadway and on a national tour, and Miss Vivian Storm, who according to her bio took "a chance at completely owning her talents" by entering "a drag show at the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh. There she fell in love with the art of illusion and performance."

Finally, if you want a cozy, family friendly celebration, check out the Paso Robles New Year's Eve Concert and Bonfire at the Downtown City Park (7 to 11 p.m.; all ages; free). They'll have a ball drop at 9 p.m. to coincide with the East Coast, a lineup of food trucks, local beverages, face painting and glitter tattoos, and music by the Lucky Devils Band, an octet playing tight covers of songs by Bruno Mars, Beyoncé, Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, and other popular artists.

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• Photo Courtesy Of The Lucky Devils Band
• GATHER AROUND THE FIRE The Lucky Devils Band plays Paso Robles' New Year's Eve Concert and Bonfire at the Downtown City Park on Dec. 31.

More music (not on NYE) ...

It's the holidays and the college kids are mostly gone, so the live music scene is a bit sedated, but there are still a few shows this week including jazz act The Lao Tizer Quartet at Libretto in Paso Robles on Friday, Dec. 29 (6:30 and 9:15 p.m. shows; $35 at librettopaso.com). A "Jazz Group of the Year"-nominee, the quartet is touring in support of Songs From The Swinghouse, which landed on the Billboard Jazz Top 10.

For fans of jazz-funk, the big news is Functus playing a rare reunion concert at SLO Brew Rock on Friday, Dec. 29 (doors 7 p.m.; 18-and-older; $10 presale at ticketweb.com or $15 at the door). They were the hot ticket in SLO in the mid-'90s, inspired by the Bay Area jazz-funk scene, bands such as Medeski, Martin and Wood, and 1970s sounds of electric Miles Davis, James Brown, and Parliament/Funkadelic. Featuring guitarist Jacob Odell, bassist Dylan Johnson, and New Orleans-based drummer and percussionist Steve Campbell, Functus will cook up an intense jazz/funk/rock hybrid with Indian, African, and Cuban music thrown in. Opening the show is local favorite the Zongo All-Stars, playing their brand of Cali-Cubano party music.

Meanwhile over at the Clark Center, check out Motown Explosion & Soul Revue on Friday, Dec. 29 (7:30 p.m.; $49 to $69). Presented by Gary Vecchiarelli Productions, the event features six singers and a 14-piece band performing music made famous by Tina Turner, Smokey Robinson, Diana Ross, James Brown, and other Motown artists. Δ

Contact Senior Staff Writer Glen Starkey at [email protected].