Ghouls, evil clowns, Adam & Eve, and Heisenberg at the VooDoo Boogaloo! 

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• PHOTO BY GLEN STARKEY
• BURNING JAMES!: James Scoolis of Burning James and the Funky Flames laid down some sinister sounds for our dancing pleasure at the recent VooDoo Boogaloo at the SLO Vets Hall.

It’s Friday, Nov. 1, and I’m wearing the laziest Halloween costume ever. Yes, even lazier than a white sheet with eyeholes. I’m a safari guy, which means I’ve got khaki shorts and a shirt on, with a khaki cargo vest and pith helmet. Hey, it was that or my Mexican wrestler outfit, and seeing as how my wife is dressed as a lion, safari guy seemed more apropos.

Apparently I’m not the only lazy costumer. Almost as soon as we walk in the door of the VooDoo Boogaloo Who Dat Halloween Par-Tay! at the SLO Vets Hall, I run into another safari guy. He’s with a woman dressed as a lion. Later I see one more safari guy—that’s three out of maybe 100 people in attendance.

I’ve got to step up my game, especially considering some of the costumes I see. I mean, wow, Jay Mueller and Deborah Maggipinto look awesome in their El Dia de los Muertos costumes, he with his skull face and spider web head and she with her roses-laced hair and red, white, and black face.

Then I see the hat, the gaunt figure with the windbreaker, the mustache and goatee … Heisenberg!

“You are the danger,” I say. “You are the one who knocks.”

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• PHOTO BY GLEN STARKEY
• EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS!: Jay Mueller and Deborah Maggipinto got into the spirit of Mexico’s Day of the Dead celebration.

Then he pulls out a baggie filled with blue crystals. Yeah, this guy broke bad all right, but before I can get his name, here’s some serious cleavage in my face, so much so I almost don’t notice the platinum blond wig and white dress that Janet Allenspach is wearing. Nice pearl necklace, too. Some like it hot, Marilyn!

I see a blue man. I think that’s photographer Dean Sullivan under there. Then I see Elaine Genasci who’s a sexy hot vampire with her husband Dan Andoetoe, who’s dressed as a priest … uh-oh! He just smiles at me, and now I see the fangs and the two puncture marks just above his clerical collar. You’ve been turned, Dan!

And speaking of unspeakable evil, there’s George Griffin at his most devilish. Seriously. He’s all painted red with big horns and black lips.

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• PHOTO BY GLEN STARKEY
• CLOWNING AROUND: Jeff and Cathy Bague were completely unrecognizable under their evil clown facial prostheses and makeup.

“Go to hell, Glen,” he says.

His wife Liz Rhoads Cordoba is a beautiful ghost under gauzy material all lit up by tiny Christmas lights.

Suddenly I’ve got two evil clowns all over me, saying creepy things and getting up in my face.

“Do you know who that is?” asks Elaine.

“No freaking idea!”

“That’s Jeff and Cathy Bague!”

Totally unrecognizable! So scary! Seeing as how my wife gets totally freaked out by clowns, I direct Cathy and Jeff to her location, naturally!

For the record, Marianne Orme, who owns Linnaea’s Café, is a lovely woman. Lovely. I’ve never seen her look more horrible! She looks like Regan from The Exorcist around the eyes, with a pig snout and tusks protruding from her chin. Ugh!

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• PHOTO BY GLEN STARKEY
• SOMEBODY’S BEEN DOING YOGA!: Kyle Griffith (left) and Francis Villablanca wore the evening’s smallest costumes.

Burning James and the Funky Flames are laying down some great songs and the dance floor is on fire. Anna and I dig into some excellent gumbo, red beans, and rice from Bon Temps Creole Café.

A party like this reminds me that Halloween isn’t just for kids, but that’s not going to stop me from eating my stepson’s Halloween candy when I get home. Boo!

Glen Starkey takes a beating and keeps on bleating. Keep up with him via twitter at twitter.com/glenstarkey, friend him at facebook.com/glenstarkey or myspace.com/glenstarkey, or contact him at [email protected].