Destin Daniel Cretton (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) directs this fourth installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Spider-Man series. After Dr. Stephen Strange’s spell at the end of Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021), no one remembers Peter Parker (Tom Holland)—not his best friend, Ned (Jacob Batalon), and not even his girlfriend, MJ (Zendaya). Peter lives alone doing the work of Spider-Man full time, but then his superpowers begin to evolve just as he’s investigating a new threat. (145 min.)
Editor’s note: Anna Starkey is camping, so former New Times reporter turned public defender investigator Matt Fountain and comic and hairstylist Cori Cameron are sitting in.
SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY
What’s it rated? PG-13
What’s it worth, Glen? Matinee
What’s it worth, Cori? Matinee
What’s it worth, Matt? Matinee
Where’s it showing? Bay, Colony, Downtown Centre, Fair Oaks, Park, Stadium 10, Sunset Drive-In
Glen It’s a brand new day, baby, so fresh paychecks for everyone! The big message is that superhero-ing is lonely, isolating work, and that’s bad! Friends and relationships are tantamount to mental health. OK, that’s sweet enough. What I liked is we get more than just Spider-Man. The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Black Widow (Florence Pugh, not Scar-Jo), and The Punisher (Jon Bernthal) are all featured, not to mention an X-Men tie-in. Fan boys and girls will be gushing over this one.
Cori Gushing is right! This movie has it all: cum jokes, jokes about cum, and even some ejaculation puns! You’ll see! It’s all in the wrists (physical comedy). Don’t worry, parents, they’re disguised in webs of mediocre writing, so your children won’t catch them, … but I did. This is a journey on Spider-Man’s road to adulthood, but I imagine it’s also an announcement that Tommy is going to be taking on some more grown-up roles himself.
Matt And glad we are aware of that. Truth be told, I’ve made it this far in life without seeing a single Spider-Man movie, though I’ve caught enough other Marvel Cinematic Universe entries to not be completely lost. But the cast and crew of this one definitely understood the assignment. It’s a wisecracking, coming-of-age Spider-Man and his signature brand of slapstick action that sends him crashing through buildings without any great consequence. But after the third or so such scenario, I mentally tuned out.
Glen It is long and somewhat repetitive, and early on I could have nodded off, but I became more invested as the plot developed. As usual, a shadowy government agency that’s supposed to be the good guy is shady AF, and the “bad guy” turns out to have a legit grievance. As superhero flicks go, this one’s eye-popping, and seeing it in the Downtown Centre’s premiere Dolby Vision + Atmos auditorium makes for an immersive experience. If you’re going to go, do it right! I didn’t love it. It was fun enough, but pay no attention to me. I might have summer blockbuster fatigue. I think I’m ready for adult movie season again.
Cori I don’t think they show “adult movies” in theaters anymore, Glen, but I’m ready for fall as well. I enjoyed the action, and the soundtrack was very good! The damage done to NYC in this movie does leave you wondering who the villain really is, but thank god they wrap it up in a nice little package for us at completion.
Matt There’s probably a little something in here for everyone if you’re in the mood. The plot is a variation on one scene we’ve seen many times before, but the cameos from other beloved MCU characters made this enjoyable overall for me. But I miss The Daily Bugle!
Cori You just miss being a journalist, Matt. The Daily Bugle hasn’t been a part of this universe since 2007. ∆
Arts Editor Glen Starkey and freelancer Anna Starkey write Split Screen. Comment at gstarkey@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in Education Today 2026.
