NEW TIMES What does it take to be a security guard?

KIDWELL You’ve got to go through a lot of background checks—Life Scan, FBI, DOJ. You can’t even have any misdemeanors or outstanding tickets on your record. No fines over $400.

 

NEW TIMES Other than watching the parking lot, are there any daily duties you have to perform?

KIDWELL Not much. I’m just here looking out for tourists trying to park here. That and suspicious bald men. You never know if they’re going to be the Geezer Bandit.

 

NEW TIMES What do you do in the event of a robbery. Are you armed?

KIDWELL No, I just call the cops. I’m basically a professional cop caller.

 

NEW TIMES What’s the most action you’ve seen in a day?

KIDWELL I saw a kid get knocked out in a fight at Centennial Park in Paso Robles. I called the cops.

 

NEW TIMES How do you pass the time when it’s slow?

KIDWELL I’m never really bored. I get to talk to all the people walking by, you know, getting to know all the regular characters downtown. Some of the restaurant people bring me food.

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