The usual suspects? 

Did you vote on Super Tuesday? Voting is the hallmark of democracy, when citizens make their voices heard and choose who will represent them and, through the proposition process, how their tax dollars are spent. It should be an exciting and fulfilling civic exercise, so why are so many voters filled with ennui, and why do so few registered voters even bother to vote? And what about millions of Americans eligible to vote who aren't even registered? Millions!

click to enlarge

It's almost as if people believe their votes don't matter, and sadly, maybe they don't. A Princeton University study proved that "the preferences of the average American appear to have only a miniscule, near zero, statistically non-significant impact upon public policy." And thanks to the Electoral College and most states being—like California—winner take all, Republican votes for president in predictably blue states are meaningless just as Democrat votes are in predictably red states. No wonder there's so much self-disenfranchisement. Why bother?

In U.S. elections from 2000 through 2020, only 27 percent of registered voters voted in the primaries, and only 60.5 percent voted in the general election. Think about that: Nearly 2 in 5 Americans don't even vote in the general election! Voters often lament their sad choices—voting for the proverbial "lesser of two evils"—but in the primaries, voters are offered a raft of choices, and yet most don't vote, and those who do flock like lemmings to candidates they say they don't really want.

According to unofficial election night results for SLO County, though SLO County Democrats had eight candidates to choose from, 93.95 percent voted for Joseph R. Biden Jr. You got this, Bumblin' Joe!

Republicans had nine candidates to choose from and yet 75.09 percent voted for Donald J. Trump. I'm a little buoyed to note 21.48 percent of SLO County Republicans voted for Nikki Haley even though her chance of prevailing was thinner than Trumplethinskin's wispy blond combover. She abandoned her campaign the following day.

So, come Nov. 5, what SLO County voters can look forward to is choosing between an 81-year-old incumbent who's 15 days shy of his 82nd birthday with an approval rating currently at 38 percent, or a 78-year-old twice-impeached former president accused of multiple felonies including insurrection whose average approval rating during his presidential tenure was 41 percent.

Am I the only one who misses Barack Hussein Obama? At least he could get through a speech without speaking gibberish or confusing the names of world leaders, countries, and ... "covfefe"?

Sigh.

Even though feeling despondent about our "democracy" is understandable, it's still essential to vote, right? All politics is local, and voting for offices like city council persons, county supervisors, senators, representatives, judges, sheriffs, and clerk-recorders matter. Sure, many races are uncompetitive. SLO County 1st District Supervisor John Peschong managed to lead with 99.65 percent of the preliminary votes counted in his race against ... no one. Third District Supervisor Dawn Ortiz-Legg managed to squeak out a 94.96 percent of those initial votes against write-in challenger Michelle Marie Morrow, who received a somewhat impressive 258 write-in votes, or 3.67 percent.

But then there's the 5th District, which is marginally exciting. Running to replace reliably conservative current supervisor Debbie Arnold, who's apparently had enough of politics, conservative Heather Moreno is leading with 53.9 percent of the unofficial early tally with liberal Susan Funk trailing with 46 percent. Sure, it would be a Christmas miracle if a liberal won the typically conservative 5th District, which is why Funk's 46 percent is impressive.

Another tight competition is over Proposition 1, which feels more like a money shuffling game than serious legislation. A "yes" vote takes mental health money from counties and shifts it to the state to try its hand at helping mentally ill and homeless Californians, a "no" is a vote for the status quo. Seeing as how no government entity has made a dent in California's homeless and mental health crises, this may feel like another expensive nothingburger, which is what's for dinner at your local homeless shelter.

Another interesting race is to replace Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who died without permission at the ripe age of 90 in the middle of her term (who could have predicted?), leaving a vacancy currently sought by 30th District U.S. Rep. Adam Schiff, who I might have to call Shifty Schiff from now on because his campaign was positively unctuous.

His main competition should have been progressive fellow U.S. Representative Katie Porter (47th District), whose ideology more closely aligns to California's "coastal elites and libtard snowflakes," but Schiff's attack ads against Republican candidate and former Dodgers and Padres first baseman Steve Garvey elevated the profile of Garvey's otherwise lackluster campaign. Garvey has zero political experience and barely bothered to campaign, but Schiff's strategy suggested the race was between him and a dangerous MAGA Republican, essentially making Porter's campaign a nonstarter.

"Steve Garvey is never going to be California's next senator, and everyone knows it," Porter recently told The Washington Post. "Representative Schiff is giving the GOP a gift, and Steve Garvey is the bow on top of the package."

I like Porter. She's a firebrand. But Schiff? He's cutthroat. He'll make a terrific smiling-through-his-fangs Machiavellian senator! Δ

The Shredder loves democracy and wishes the U.S. was one. Give 'em hell at [email protected].