Cougars & Mustangs 

Yeah, I know. You don’t really want to be thinking about September yet. I mean, SCHOOL? Yuck! That’s for nerds! But suck it up, buttercup, let me lay this down, it might turn you around. From Sept. 18 to 20, Cuesta College will host the 31st annual Central Coast Writer’s Conference, a San Luis Obispo staple for those of writerly inclinations. That’s reason enough to look forward, right? The event is known for drawing in all manner of workshops, teachers, and keynote speakers to help your writing ability, wherever it’s at, ascend ever closer to the THRESHOLD OF THE GODS. The experience is designed to be as affordable as can be for those who find such services are needed and to be full of all the industry professionals you probably want to be around to get that hastily renamed Cougars & Mustangs fan-fiction off the ground. If you’ve been sold already, please bear in mind that registration is limited, so head over immediately to cuesta.edu/communityprograms/writers-conference/. If you still require what people in the business refer to as “convincing,” however, allow me to shed further light on the wondrous prospects ahead.

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For one thing, several genres are being covered. Writing isn’t all books and notes passed in class to people who, stop kidding yourself, are never going to like you in that way, I mean, Jesus, Steve, she’s 27! There’s also the kinds of writing required for television work, biography, critique, and restraining orders. At least one workshop will involve tips on networking, perhaps the most important of all skills in ANY professional field. On Sept. 20, the event continues at the Pismo Seacrest Hotel with the corresponding Book and Author Faire, from 1 to 5 p.m. The Faire, which, I might add, is FREE to the public, allows readers, prospective writers, and the like to get up close and personal with a variety of published authors, gleaning what they can from these linguistic honeycombs. It’s truly a perfect opportunity to hear what people in the business can tell you about how to get yourself “in,” which is an opportunity that comes around less often than would be preferred. At this point, there are very few legitimate excuses left to not give the CCWC a shot for yourself, and most of them involve either “I’m not a writer in the first place” or, more probably, bears.

Contributor Chris White-Sanborn is looking to publish an immense compilation of Norwegian Limericks and Disaster Recipes. If you find her taste questionable, you might want to send your collegiate news to [email protected] before she signs something her descendents will regret.