Cougars & Mustangs 

Greetings again, beloved readers! We return once again to put a stop to the terrible drivel that you might otherwise be reading, with a focus once again on the hack you know as Lola. We hack to save you from hacks! That’s our motto! For today’s chastisement we will address a significant flaw in last week’s column. Despite addressing the start of a new semester at Cuesta College, despite focusing it on new students, despite somehow finding a way to blather on about Pokémon GO, there was no tie-in to an upcoming event that features all three of those things. 

Connect@Cuesta is an annual event for new Cuesta College students in which tours full of you humans—being all “fun and fancy free”—roam the campus at large to get a sense of what a delight education truly is. Students are introduced to the cafeteria, the gymnasium, various other locales, and their tour guide, who undoubtedly has a human name. 

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But I can sense your journalistic scrutiny. “Where’s the Pikachu? The Lapras? The Pidgey? I was promised a tie in to Pokémon GO!” Calm your fleshy mouths. 

This year, at the San Luis Obispo campus location, the tour will feature opportunities for hitting Poke Stops to load up on all of your needs as a trainer of imaginary combatants. It is no doubt a valiant and appreciated attempt at remaining “hip” with the younger generations. Remember, if this year has taught us anything, it is that the only way to be cool nowadays is by returning once again to the ’90s. That is a journalistic fact (which I believe I have mastered the art of writing!)! 

This event will occur at the North County campus on Aug. 10, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. The Pokémon GO scavenger hunt edition occurs the following day at the San Luis Obispo campus, Aug. 11, from 1 to 6 p.m. Remember, though, pre-registration is required—a task that can be completed at cuesta.edu/events/connectatcuesta. 

Contributor Lola White-Sanborn was thwarted once again, it seems. All the same, send her your collegiate news via [email protected].