
Itās Friday, Feb. 4, and Iām walking into the SLOMA (thatās the San Luis Obispo Museum of Art, bubs) for Art After Art After Dark. Thatās not a typo, itās when the SLOMA lets a bunch of punks take over the classroom in the museum at 9 p.m., when Art After Dark ends, allowing them to do whatever kids do when you give them some free space.
Iām eyed suspiciously as I snap photos and walk through the youthful crowd. I half expect to hear someone whisper ānarcā under his breath! Screw you, you punks! I invented the disaffected youth mythos. I was writing bad poetry at coffee shops when you were just a gleam in your parentsā eyes. I thought Gertrude Stein was cool before your parents ate their first pot brownies. Punks!
Who are all these dirty heads, these hipsters, these scene makers anyway? And what are they doing here? And is it nepotism that Iām writing about this event even though itās organized by New Times Arts Editor Anna Weltner, whoās technically my boss even though sheās only 23? Overachiever!
Weltner recently took the reins of this monthly event, and this tooth-themed show is packed with weird displays like a dentist chair and dental-themed art. On a screen, a series of toothy slides cycles through as a band sets up.
āBasically, this show is inspired by my friend Dustin Garrison who was in a bike accident and knocked out a tooth and pushed in his two front teeth,ā Weltner said. āIn fact, some of the x-rays weāre projecting are his.ā
The idea is to raise some funds, but as I look around at this lot, I bet they couldnāt pool enough money to share a cab home. Iām half right.
One Monday, Weltner tells me, āWe asked for donations. It was basically 100 bucks in ones, including the money raised from art sales, but every bit counts. Usually the museum takes the donations, but they were nice enough to let us have them.ā
Back to Friday, Weltner explains where the art came from: āNeal Breton at San Luis Art Supply knew a bunch of artists who were willing to make some stuff on the fly, which is where all the art came from.ā
The refreshment table is basically leftovers from SLOMAās Art After Dark event.
āWeāre like little kids siphoning off the punch, peanuts, snacks, but they wonāt let us have the leftover wine. It has to be a dry event,ā says Weltner, who adds that the show will hang for three days.
āWe do have work by Nick Wilkinson, who currently shows in the SLOMA, and paintings by Lena Rushing.ā

āAnd whoās the band?ā I ask.
āThe Swan Thief,ā replies Weltner as the nepotism gets a little deeper. Itās her boyfriendās band.
āIn between songs, weāll have people reading rejection letters from the dentistās chair,ā she continues.
As people read, a video camera operator films them, projecting the image onto the screen.
āThe idea is when youāre at the dentist, they focus in on your mouth so you can see your cavities on the screen, but [the person who was going to lend us a quality camera] wouldnāt let us have it, so the museum bought a little cheap one.ā
Instead of seeing a disembodied mouth on the screen, the closest they can get before the image pixilated into abstraction is a torso shot.
Continues Weltner, āThe first rejection letter weāll read is from the Museum of Modern Art to Andy Warhol, which is real, but some are fake, like one I wrote about Pluto, which says, āSorry, but your planet status has been revoked because your orbit is untidy.ā That kind of thing. It was easy to get people to create artwork, but hard to get people to read. It was like pulling teeth ⦠um, I donāt mean it like that.ā
Too late, sucker! You win the Bad Pun Award!

āSo whatās the next Art After Art After Dark?ā I ask.
āI donāt even know yet,ā says Weltner, whoās more organized at work. āIām open to suggestions. I was thinking of doing something about a copy of a copy of a copy, you know, ask other artists to do copies of other artistsā work. But that may take longer than a month, so it may come later, but something will happen on Friday, March 4.ā
How about a performance art free for all? All these punky little hipsters look like theyāre hungry for attention. Punks!Ā
Glen Starkey takes a beating and keeps on bleating. Keep up with him via twitter at twitter.com/glenstarkey, friend him at Myspace.com/glenstarkey, or contact him at gstarkey@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in Feb 10-17, 2011.


