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Vampires 

click to enlarge GUILTY BITE James Woods (forefront) stars in Vampires as a slayer on the hunt for an evil vampire master. - PHOTO COURTESY OF ROTTEN TOMATOES
  • Photo Courtesy Of Rotten Tomatoes
  • GUILTY BITE James Woods (forefront) stars in Vampires as a slayer on the hunt for an evil vampire master.
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What's it rated? PG-13

When? 1998

Where's it showing? Netflix

Reeling from his July 22 box-office hit Nope, Jordan Peele brushed off compliments calling him the best horror movie director of all time. That title should go to John Carpenter, according to him. Serendipitously, Netflix recommended that I should watch Vampires—Carpenter's "independent neo-Western horror" beloved by its 1998 audience.

Starring James Woods (Casino, Hercules) as Jack Crow the foulmouthed vampire slayer, Vampires is about his New Mexico mission to stop evil vampire master Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith of Karate Kid III fame) from accessing a cross that can make him immune to sunlight. Joining Crow is fellow slayer Tony Montoya, played by second-oldest Baldwin brother Daniel. Neither received a lesson in anatomy by the looks of it because even though they repeatedly scream, "Drive the stake through its heart!" with every deadly encounter, Crow and Montoya jam their weapons into vampire abdomens.

Both of them are so unlikeable, I rooted for Valek the whole time. Even with comical hair and makeup and terrible stunts, Griffith looked like he totally enjoyed portraying the deranged vampire. He's actually fun to watch. But I'm shocked Vampires was an immediate success. Stream it when you want a good laugh, and fear not if it leaves you thirsty for more. There's always Carpenter's sequel, Vampires: Los Muertos, starring Jon Bon Jovi ... obviously. (103 min.) Δ

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