Who knew the Lucia Mar Unified School District board of trustees race would be so spicy! It’s playing out like a student body president race in an ’80s teen comedy with allegedly stolen campaign signs, accusations of distorting the truth, candidates not showing up for a public forum, and one forum attendee (a candidate for a whole other race) breaking the forum’s rules, leading to the event being shut down before candidates could even respond to the public’s questions.
Children! Behave!
Ten school board candidates vying for four open seats were invited to attend the League of Women Voters’ Sept. 21 public forum to explain their priorities and answer the public’s questions, but only six showed up. Then, the entire event went to shit when “parents’ rights” advocate and 30th District Assembly candidate Shannon Kessler showed up wearing a “Save Girls’ Sports” campaign T-shirt and carrying political signs. The nonpartisan league forbids campaign materials at its forums, and apparently Kessler refused to leave.
What a Karen! But all was not lost.
Audience members submitted written questions before leaving, and candidates’ answers were videotaped and posted on SLO-Span and the league’s YouTube channel. The problem with the no-shows, however, was that contenders whose opponents didn’t attend were only allowed to read their candidate statements, not respond to the public’s questions.
“The league is disappointed that the Lucia Mar candidates’ forum did not take place in front of an audience as planned. To ensure decorum, we found it necessary to ask the audience to leave,” the league told New Times.“We thank all the candidates who participated in the forum.”
Thanks for nothing, Shannon! You may recall she’s the Republican Party-backed candidate who raised a ruckus about transgender athletes in girls’ locker rooms. She’s also the ministry director at Harvest Church, which circulated a flyer claiming a trans female athlete used the girls’ locker room and caused “psychological trauma” to other girls. The church and some parents have urged the school board to align Lucia Mar’s policies with the Trump administration’s Title IX regulations.
So far, a board majority has rejected that idea, which—by the way—also goes against current California state law. They’ve also rejected attempts to remove Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye, Maia Kobabe’s graphic novel Gender Queer, and Sapphire’s novel Push from the Arroyo Grande High School library. Yes, the culture wars came home to roost in AG.
Some candidates are running on the idea that maybe, just maybe, a school board should govern the school district and avoid all the political bullshit. You know, not ban books. Not allow hyperpartisan policies that supersede state law.
“It’s critical that board members not get sucked into political culture wars, and that book banning thing can be one of those,” trustee Area 6 candidate David Warren said. “Our job is to stay as neutral as we possibly can with respect to politics and just do what’s right by way of programs, curricular, facilities.”
Ah. A little sanity. Don’tcha miss it?!? Well, too bad because here’s more nonsense.
Trustee Area 5 incumbent Colleen Martin alleged to New Times that Paul Bischoff stole her campaign signs. Bischoff is handling the campaigns of conservative candidates Julie Tizzano, Eilene Pham, Traci Bognuda, and Sarah Moreland. He lost a 2024 bid to represent Lucia Mar’s Trustee Area 1 to Don Stewart.
Anywho, Martin claimed that Bischoff installed campaign signs for Tizzano and Moreland on an Oceano property without the owner’s permission. Martin added that Bischoff took down her campaign sign from another property without anyone’s permission and dropped it off at the property owner’s house.
“My sign was at a location owned by a friend of ours, someone who donated to our campaigns and endorsed us,” Martin explained. “His wife didn’t want the sign up after all because it’s too much trouble, whatever. Long story short, he texted my husband and said, ‘Your sign can stay, but can Colleen’s go?’”
Martin’s husband is Arroyo Grande Planning Commissioner Glenn Martin. He’s running for AG mayor in November.
“[The property owner’s] wife’s pretty religious and they all think I love trans kids, and I do. I love all kids,” Martin continued. “Literally, he [Bischoff] took the sign down and delivered it to the property owner’s house. The property owner told me, ‘Come get your sign. It’s at my house.’ He said, ‘I saw something on my Ring camera. A guy with a truck and a trailer, but it was too far away from the Ring camera to really tell what he was doing.’”
That’s the “she said.” Here’s the “he said.”
“I went to the property in Oceano and asked permission and received it a couple months ago,” Bischoff told New Times. “Later after install, the owner called me and rescinded the permission, and I immediately removed the signs. I went the other night to ask about that, and it turns out that owner felt obligated to Colleen for a favor she did for a couple friends of his. I can respect that.”
Bischoff claims the property owner asked him to remove Martin’s sign since he asked her to, but she hadn’t done it yet.
“So yeah, Colleen is wrong as usual,” Bischoff said.
Adulting is hard. Good luck, Lucia Mar voters! ∆
The Shredder aspires to maturity. Tell it it’s overrated at shredder@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in Oct 1-8, 2026.
