Misreading the age restriction of drag performances hosted by a downtown San Luis Obispo restaurant led to threats and intimidation from a local business.
On Nov. 17, Highwater SLO received direct messages on Instagram complaining about their drag brunch for ages 21 and up. The restaurant captioned the Instagram post advertising the event, “Bring the family!” which irked the business owner.
“As I stated, if you advertise drag shows to children, I will be right back here. I don’t care in the slightest what adults choose to do,” stated the message sent to Highwater. “But we will see how the public responds to you encouraging children to attend drag shows.”
Highwater co-owner Robin Wolf told New Times that she did not want to name the person or their business publicly.
“I do not believe in doxing people; I believe it’s predatory,” she said. “I do not believe in giving attention to bullies.”
Wolf said she heard from other establishments in the city, like Art and Soul SLO, that also received messages from the same person about their drag events. In direct messages sent to Art and Soul, the business owner said they would spend as much money as required to make sure “this upcoming ‘all ages’ drag event you’re hosting will be the most publicized event you’ve EVER put on.”
“I’ve been chatting with one of the founders of @gaysagainstgroomers and they’ve agreed to assist in the advertising by utilizing their 130k followers to get the word out about your event,” one message read. “We will make your organization famous for inviting children to drag shows, I promise you that.”
Gays Against Groomers is a national group founded by Florida-based Jaimee Mitchell. The organization has been banned by Google, Venmo, and PayPal after pressure mounted on tech companies to restrict it for allegedly spreading anti-transgender sentiments. Two days after the Nov. 20 mass shooting at Colorado Springs’ Club Q, Mitchell appeared on Tucker Carlson’s Fox News segment and said that the murders were “expected and predictable” because of gender-affirming health care.
Wolf and her husband, Matt Hanson, issued a public statement on the restaurant’s Instagram page that called out the critical messages they received. Community members flooded the comments with support. But the disgruntled business owner continued texting and threatened to take legal action on the basis of defamation if their business suffered.
“Wow. Look at all the outpouring of support you received! It only took you completely misrepresenting everything I said and riding off the coattails of a mass murder [Club Q shooting]! LOL,” they wrote.
Highwater plans to debut kid-friendly drag events in January 2023. Wolf said that it was always in the pipeline because their regular drag brunches sell out quickly, and the restaurant often fields phone calls and emails from parents asking if they could bring their teenagers.
“My own brother asked if he could bring his children, and I’ve had to tell him no because we’re 21-plus only,” she said.
Wolf added that their version of a kid-friendly drag performance would include story time, face painting, arts and crafts, and a dance party.
“Just because a performer wears a sparkly dress and makeup rather than a suit does not sexualize that performer or the event,” she said. “Acceptance, creativity, and celebration are the heart of our all-ages drag event.”
Following community outcry in support of the restaurant, Highwater is partnering with Gala, Big Balsz Productions, and Art and Soul to set up a Queer Event Safety Committee that can be a resource for anyone who wants to host programs for the LGBTQ-plus community. On Dec. 6 at 6 p.m., the committee will conduct a public forum for community input at Highwater.
Wolf told New Times that at least three business have received similar messages from the original sender, and some even felt compelled to cancel their drag events out of concern for the well-being of the performers. One such drag queen is Pandora Mystere. She performed at Highwater’s event before Thanksgiving, which initially drew the critic’s attention.
“I feel like I can confidently say that most members of our community have found themselves in situations where they feel unsettled and unsafe,” Mystere said via email. “I was so excited to hear about the formation of the Queer Events Safety Committee. It sounds like so many of our queer-owned and allied businesses have some amazing ideas to keep our community even safer moving forward. Drag is an art form of expression, and it is intended to inspire a feeling of family and togetherness. We have to preserve that feeling.” Δ
This article appears in Dec 1-11, 2022.
