I totally get Republicans and their suspicions of election fraud. Really, I do. They’re so sure their ideas are superior and held by the majority that they simply can’t conceive of there being enough liberal voters to beat their candidates and policies in a fair race. I get them because I was them.
In 2016, when Donald Trump became U.S. president, I thought, “Surely there aren’t enough backwards, ignorant, sycophantic, knuckle-dragging troglodytes in America to elect this sexist, racist, xenophobic, anti-intellectual Oompa Loompa to the highest office.”
Technically, it turns out I was correct. If it wasn’t for the outdated, unnecessary, and unfair Electoral College system, Hillary Clinton would have been president with her extra 3 million popular votes, but I believe in democracy and accepted that tRump was the legitimate president.
Now if only Republicans could realize that America’s voters have rejected their election denialism, their voter fraud nonsense, and their anti-government rhetoric, maybe they could decide whether they want to adjust their ideology to gain more of the electorate or if they, you know, would rather cling dogmatically to their failed ideas and drift into complete irrelevance.
I know what the Republican Party of San Luis Obispo (RPSLO) has decided to do. On their Facebook page, their updated cover photo is a Fox News shot of tRump announcing his 2024 presidential run. Maybe they haven’t heard the horrible wheezing sound emanating from the dying MAGA movement or noticed a tRump endorsement is the kiss of death.
If you need a few laughs, scroll down the RPSLO feed. They reposted a meme that reads “PENNSYLVANIA VOTERS REELECT DEAD DEMOCRAT STATE REPRESENTATIVE” under the comment “What is going on in PA!!”
I guess what’s going on is Pennsylvania voters prefer a dead Democrat over a living Republican. State Rep. Tony DeLuca died a month before the election, but his name was already printed on the ballot. It’s not a conspiracy, and tinfoil looks weird on your head.
Also, cue paranoia with this RPSLO post: “Although more ballots remain to be counted, some have manifested which are clearly a mistake. Darcia Stebbens tells KPRL several people in the North County received primary election ballots in October. If you receive a ballot which was not a general election ballot, you’re advised to turn it in to the Republican Party headquarters, so that Darcia can present all of them to the election office.”
Huh? Stebbens was the lady who demanded a recount of the 4th District Supervisor Lynn Compton loss to Jimmy Paulding, the new supe. The recount revealed the original tabulation was 100 percent accurate.
Also on RPSLO’s Facebook page is the hilarious meme depicting an older Black woman who’s covered in “I Voted” stickers under the banner “Democrats leaving the polls on Election Day.” Hmm. Accusing Democrats of cheating at the polls by voting more than once? I thought Dems cheated using Dominion vote tabulators and mail-in ballots. I guess your conspiracy now includes volunteer citizen poll workers cheating on Democrats’ behalf. Weird that more and more people think Republicans are wacko.
Come on, RPSLO! Be original instead of just parroting all the crazy conspiracies dreamed up by the ultra-cuckoo wing of your party!
And speaking of ultra-cuckoo, Vicki “I’ve Been Ordained by God” Nohrden—the lady who wrote a 2008 book claiming California drought and wildfires are God’s punishment for legalizing gay marriage and allowing abortion—is clearly hoping for a Christmas miracle in her race against Dawn Addis for the 30th District Assembly seat. New Times reporter Bulbul Rajagopal reached out to Nohrden for comment on her race—as reporters are wont to do.
“As per our last correspondence, you mentioned that you’d be available to comment on the AD30 race and your book after the elections concluded,” Rajagopal emailed. “I understand the preliminary results are out and votes are still being updated. I’d be grateful to speak with you.”
Instead of commenting on preliminary results that show her trailing Addis by more than 25 points districtwide, Nohrden scolded Rajagopal for doing her job.
“Win or lose, I believe every candidate who ran a campaign has the right to a fair and honest count of the election,” Nohrden retorted, even though no one is arguing candidates shouldn’t. “Maybe it’s time for the media to respect the vote [boldface Nohrden’s] as every vote counts, and discounting those who voted or mailed in their ballot is dishonoring.
“The counties have until Nov. 15 to receive postmarked ballots from Nov. 7 voting by mail while the media uses its platform to call races,” Nohrden continued. “I believe that is both dishonoring and disrespectful. Be a leader, Bulbul, and stand up for what’s right.”
Hey Vicki, New Times isn’t calling the election in Addis’ favor, though honestly, you’d need a lot of the uncounted votes to overcome her lead. It’s math, after all. Instead of rebuking a journalist who’s giving you an opportunity to voice your opinion on the state of your race, why don’t you be a leader and show a little grace in what appears to be your impending defeat.
I have a feeling that if you were in the lead, you might have a comment or two to share with the public about God’s will. By the way, Addis already claimed victory. She apparently understands math. Δ
The Shredder mocks Republicans. Cry about it at shredder@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in Holiday Guide 2022.
It’s like I always say, Trump and many Republican politicians are so clownishly evil, so obviously vile, repugnant, dishonest and obscene in their actions that they make pointing out how terrible the Democratic Party and their politicians are exponentially more difficult… One thing about it though, regardless of who is in power, the US remains the most violent and terrorist nation in the world as well as being one of the most corrupt, unequal and least free…
There are no words to describe the demonic evil of the republican party. MAGA is a nihilistic death cult from hell centered around the worship of a stupid, foul-tempered psychopath slathered in orange makeup and hairspray who wants to be a dictator like his buddies Putin, Kim and Xi. The GQP is a curse on the planet, a thuggish cabal of sadists,bigots, incels, bullies and fools.No decent person votes republican, only the most vicious and depraved miscreants support them today.
Your headline appears to have been answered by Knudson and Bonestell.
I think the reason Republicans are suspect is because in the County we still have 20K+ uncounted votes 10 days after the election. That seems to be a national problem as well. An yes, ideals of self reliance, hard work, not killing babies, using the police to actually protect citizens and not allow the government to confiscate our income to fund their Ponzi schemes are superior ideas. and please, don’t lump Republicans with Trump. Plenty of us object to him and did in 2016 and 2020. He was a Liberal Democrat until he decided to run for Prez, then he switched. He did a great job of convincing Liberal Union workers that hew as there friend and would bring more jobs home getting a tonof crossover vote.
I use to identify as a bible thumping old white MAGA when I mistakenly believed diversity of someone’s thought was a better judgement of character than diversity of their skin color. And, it was tough to leave the dark side when you realize that you have to have faith when you’re a religious climate fanatic. Since a symmetrical CO2 molecule does not bend light waves like the 20X more prevalent asymmetrical H2O water vapor molecule I waited for color feedback in the sky. I’ve never seen a tinge of reddening of the sky like you get with a transition to a Mars type CO2 atmosphere, so it’s a tough sell that requires religious faith in some self proclaimed climate experts. And then, that temporary obstacle in my mind was compounded by my understanding that more water-wells means lowering the water table and massively irrigating was burdening the troposphere humidity and indeed water vapor GHG was warming of the oceans, which then releases more CO2 & methane than humans and wildfires have ever done. But, then I thought I must be detached from reality because authorities like Gore, Kerry & Thornburg couldn’t have anything but pure agendas, right? So, I’m opening my mind while filling my scuba tanks as sea level creeps-up hundredths of an inch and I finally decided to identify myself as a kind and considerate “Merman” (not Ethel) and my new pronoun is now “fish”. Please respect that and don’t hurt my feelings about how demonic evil I was prior to my transition..
Scott Moore—
I guess you’re trying to be funny? Hope you get some help with that. And I know second graders who have a better grasp of scientific concepts than you seem to have.
“Gore, Kerry, Thunberg”
That’s right, Al and John were simply trying to monetize the entire global warming issue (ignore the fact that these men already possess generational wealth). They were desperate for money and decided to collude with the thousands of climate scientists who say they believe in anthropogenic climate change and have written thousands of peer reviewed papers that prove it, but, they’re all simply lying so they can make money on grants to keep studying what is just an issue of the planet changing naturally. Why is Greta involved? Gee, maybe she’s just gullible enough to believe all of this peer-reviewed science and wants to speak out about it so that her children aren’t plagued by the myriad of problems which the earth faces if we continue to spew billions of tons of carbon into the atmosphere. She must be dumb or something.
Right?!?
Patricia, yes it was humor while pointing out that CO2 change is a result that trails temperature change. I was a cold licensed senior reactor operator in 1983 (per Nunzio Paladino, NRC) and HFACS investigator in 2010, understanding how normalized deviation of thought occurs. If second graders are learning the K-effective six factor formula, thermodynamics, emmisitivity, organic chemistry (by Cuesta prof Brundage) and steam tables from an instructor better than Dick Graham, then they have a leg up on my street and classroom smarts.