The Big Lie 

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it."

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That's why so many people think the McRib is edible. They've been told it is. But the seasonal sandwich isn't our biggest lie problem right now.

The big enough lie is the assertion that our last election was riddled with voter fraud with the intention of robbing Donald J. Trump of his rightful second term as U.S. president. Trump won by a landslide, see? That idea is behind the "Stop the Steal" movement and the seditious riot and storming of the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6.

All those (mostly) white men weren't motivated by pure malice. They actually believe the election was stolen from Trump. They don't think of themselves as insurrectionists or traitors. They're patriots! They're heroes! They're taking their country back from the Communists and Marxists and Globalists who have tricked the sheeple into following liberal ideas.

That's the problem with The Big Lie. It's dangerous. It's fatal. It's got the power to destroy a democracy, which we're all discovering day by day is much more fragile than imagined.

Trump is directly responsible for promoting The Big Lie, but he's such a malignant narcissist, such an egotistical and infantile personality, he actually believes The Big Lie himself. After all, how could he have lost? He's the ultimate winner! Rules don't apply to him. He makes the rules. Here's the truth: He's such a pathetic figure I can almost forgive him. He believes his own bullshit. Who I can't forgive are all the sycophantic Republicans who know Trump's a habitual liar but enabled him because his actions benefit their agenda.

As long as conservatives are appointed to judgeships and tax breaks given to the rich and corporations, Republicans put up with Trump's venality. The Emoluments Clause? Nah, no biggie. If Trump's mendacity helped propel the Republican agenda, then he wasn't really lying, right? He's got a big personality! He doesn't mean it! He was kidding!

So who's truly responsible for The Big Lie? Is it the baby-man with the piss-colored combover and orange bronzer smeared on his pursed, corpulent face, or is it the morally corrupt Republicans who know better but go along with Trump's lies anyway? They're the real villains here because they care more about power than the American people. If they cared about you, they wouldn't perpetuate The Big Lie.

If you think you're immune to The Big Lie because you live in SLO County, let me draw your attention to the recent press release by The Republican Party of SLO County and its chairman, Randall Jordan, who starts out sounding like a reasonable human being: "The Republican Party of SLO County joins with all people of goodwill, ordinary citizens and public officials alike, in deploring Wednesday's U.S. Capitol attack, the break-in and destruction of public property, the violence, the injuries to law enforcement officers, and the tragic loss of life."

Well, that's nice, Randy, but then you go and ruin it by repeating The Big Lie.

"The curtain has not fallen on the need for a careful, thorough investigation of all legitimate questions concerning the integrity of this election," Jordan writes.

Actually, Randy, the curtain has fallen. In fact, the show ended, the audience has gone home, and you pretending there's still some question about the election's legitimacy is the fuel to fire up the Trumpers and cause more violence. The counties and states have all certified the election. The courts have rejected all the specious lawsuits. Investigations have found no evidence of voter fraud. Dude, the Fat Lady has sung!

Of course, what I'm really corked about is when Jordan wrote, "Unfortunately, the San Luis Obispo Tribune, reflecting its McClatchy corporate parent's outrageous left-wing attacks on California Republicans, has blatantly attempted to take partisan advantage of this national tragedy. It has called out local Republicans for their exercise of free speech about the election, and has engaged in 'cancel culture' (public shaming) locally to suppress our activity."

What am I? Chopped liver? "Republicans like you suck! You need to be canceled!" How's that? Put me on your naughty list! You think free speech means the right to lie freely, eh? Randy, there are two possibilities: You're so susceptible to falsehood that even you actually believe The Big Lie; or you're so morally bankrupt you're willing to perpetuate The Big Lie because you're more interested in power than truth.

Either way you slice it, that's not just sad, it's unpatriotic. The only way Republicans can win these days is to cheat. You think I'm kidding? Who's the party of voter suppression? Disenfranchisement? Gerrymandering? These are Republican techniques because they know the more people who vote, the more likely they are to lose!

Why do more votes go to Democrats and yet there's more Republican representation? In 2018, Democrats got 1 million more votes and still lost the Senate. Puzzler, eh? Add in the sham that is the Electoral College and the truth comes out. A recent study proved that Trump received a four-point boost from the Electoral College in 2020, meaning Democrats would need to win 52 percent of the electorate to have a chance at winning the presidency. Stop the steal indeed! Δ

The Shredder can't find his olive branch. Tell him where it is at [email protected].