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Here goes nothing

I've been saying it all along, but does anyone listen to me? Well, yes. Usually. But they didn't in this case, and now they're saying what I've been saying all along, only they're pretending like they said it first because they think they thought it up in the first place.

Jarek Molski is a jerk.

I've been calling him dirty names for what seems like years now, pointing out that he's just out for money and doesn't give a fig about what he says he gives a fig about - namely the rights of handicapped people everywhere - but everyone's either been too busy or too stupid or too both to listen.

For the three of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here's a quick rundown: Molski is a Woodland Hills resident who gets around in a wheelchair. He regularly visits businesses around the state and complains to high heaven or a high court - whichever is more likely to monetarily rule in his favor - that this showroom or that bathroom isn't wheelchair friendly. Then, he sues the offending businesses under the Americans with Disabilities Act in the name of freedom for everyone, regardless of sex, race, color, belief, ancestry, national origin, disability, medical condition, or, apparently, ethics. Finally, he tries to collect money, regardless of whether the place decides to get itself into compliance or not.

See? Jerk city. The guy's just out for a quick buck. You can tell by how eager he is to settle and how many times he's suffered while loading himself onto a toilet. With as many injuries as he's said he's endured, I can't believe he's got any bones left in his arms.

Some establishments have had to shut down completely after Molski raped and pillaged them, which ironically (meaning disappointingly) restricts access to their goods and services for people in wheelchairs and people who can walk. If you ask me - and you should - I'll tell you that Molski's the one who needs to be sued because he's discriminating against just about everyone with his lawsuits. What about my rights to enjoy a hamburger at someplace like Roy's Drive-In in Salinas? Too bad. It's closed, thanks to you-know-who.

Molski probably thinks of himself as a sort of Robin Hood, robbing from the moderately rich and giving hope to the ambulatory poor, while pocketing the profits. I'd agree, except everybody liked Robin Hood, and I've yet to hear of someone who likes Molski, besides his attorneys, who make a pretty penny every time some poor mom-and-pop shop agrees to pay thousands of dollars because he couldn't reach the sink to wash his hands. Oh, and Robin Hood shot arrows.

Anyway, at the end of last year, Senior U.S. District Judge Edward Rafeedie, in reference to a Molski suit against a Chinese restaurant in Santa Ynez, determined Molski to be a "vexatious litigant," which is Latin lawspeak for "pain-in-the-ass jerk."

I took a peek at some legal documents - including another less-than-favorable ruling for Molski from a few months later - and it seems to me that the courts are saying that what Molski does just about amounts to extortion. These days, according to Rafeedie's ruling, he has to show cause why his complaints shouldn't be dismissed.

Now that someone sort of stood up to the man, it seems that everyone's girding their litigious loins against him. He's had three cases in SLO and Santa Barbara counties fall flat on their flimsy faces this month alone. Local businesses seem to still be settling suits with him as well, but at least he's finally been exposed for what I've been saying he is all along.

Maybe next time somebody starts flinging around malicious lawsuits, you'll all listen to me.

All's fair in music and journalism

So Glen Starkey, as he is so often wont to do, insulted somebody. Not surprisingly, his most recent victim-of-the-week, the Mid-State Fair, took the hit with less than a smile and stopped returning his calls.

To be fair - Ha! Fair! Get it? - Glen did blast the annual party with a double barrel of caustic sarcasm. He reamed Reba, badmouthed Smash Mouth, and cut off Air Supply, just to name a few.

It's no secret that the Fair isn't exactly an overwhelming financial powerhouse, so I can see why organizers weren't too happy with what amounted to bad press. More people means more money, so less people means, well, you can do the math, can't you? In the organizers' eyes, Glen is taking money out of their pockets, and nobody likes somebody else's hands in their pants.

On the other hand, I hope those same organizers can see why not everyone's excited about eating a hot dog on a stick in a simmering, crowded, 100-degree setting. After all, Glen's just one voice, albeit one voice that thousands of people listen to each week.

Anyway, who really wants to drive to Paso to see Journey minus Steve Perry?