Embrace white fear? Nah thanks. 

It seems like a lot of people are having a conniption over the racists who held an "EMBRACE WHITE PRIDE" banner on the Vineyard Drive bridge in Templeton on April 29. Local organizations Little Queer Paso and the SLO County Branch of the NAACP are contacting everyone from Caltrans to the SLO County Board of Supervisors to California state Assembly and Senate members to see what can be legally done to stop the banner's display. It's been hung repeatedly.

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Even our beloved local daily paper, The Tribune, weighed in with a scathing May 10 editorial, "Racists held up a 'white pride' banner in SLO County. Will they dare to tell us why?"

So. Much. Handwringing. And all over a little free speech.

"So we know you're racist," the anonymous editorial said directly to the unidentified banner hangers. "But you're destructive as well, willing to divide your community in public for all to see."

Wait a minute. Isn't it better they express their racism in public rather than privately? Makes 'em easier to identify and resist, right?

"Bottom line, there is no excuse for this kind of hate," the editorial scolded, "and no hiding behind protection of free speech."

Well, legally they can and are hiding behind free speech, not to mention the masks they were wearing. You're proud enough to fly your racist banner but not proud enough to show your faces, eh? Pride indeed.

In response to the editorial, the NorCal Active Club, whose members seem to be behind the banner, took to Twitter to write, "Cowardly Jew Stephanie Finucane wrote another defamation article instead of responding. She won't dare engage in open debate or set up an interview because we have the moral high ground. Good job coward. We've had 4 new applicants inspired by your ethnic hatred!"

Sheesh. So much to unpack. So, you wanted to debate? New Times contacted you and asked for an interview and you demanded $100 in return. Moral low ground is more like it. Finucane is the Trib's opinion editor. Did she write the editorial? I don't know, but the racists are holding her responsible. Is she Jewish? Who knows or who cares? I looked it up, and apparently Finucane is of Irish origin and means "blond hair." Does it matter? Of course not.

See, this is why I love free speech. Now we know these little dinks are both racists and anti-Semitic, because they told us. Keep talking, NorCal Active Club.

Here's the thing to understand about these—I don't want to use the word "men" because it still has some positive connotations in some circles—these male humanoids. They are afraid. They're afraid of people of color; afraid of gay and trans people; afraid of Jews; afraid of women. But, do you know who really makes them quake in their jackboots and stain their tighty-whities? White liberals.

White liberals scare the shit out of racists because they know white liberals care more about people of color, gays and trans people, Jews, and women than they care about them.

And they're right.

White liberals do care more about people who've been historically marginalized, victimized by bigotry, and held back by institutional racism than they care about a bunch of scared, fragile, angry racists whose only thing they can hold onto is this: "Well, at least I'm white." At least? The thing that should be the least interesting about them—their skin color—is the most important to them. And that's because it's all they have to hold onto in the face of an evolving society where white men aren't the only group with power and pride.

Racists seem to think that by giving people who are different from them equal rights, it will somehow erode their rights, but "rights" aren't a pie you're dividing up. Giving equal rights to someone else doesn't mean fewer rights for you.

What really infuriates racists is they know white liberals are embarrassed by them. It's absolutely true: White racists are a total embarrassment to normal, openminded, thoughtful, kind white people. They give good white people a bad name.

White liberals are embarrassed by white racists because they know as white people in America, they've had every advantage and opportunity, yet white racists act as if they're oppressed. Pathetic.

When white racists see people of color standing up for themselves, they're scared. When they see gay and trans people proudly expressing their gender identity, they're scared. When they see Jewish people holding their chins high in the face of anti-Semitism, they're scared. When they see women demanding equality, they're scared. When they see white liberals supporting these other groups, they're terrified.

Instead of abhorring racists, we all should pity them because they have nothing in which to take much pride, and they know it. Instead of silencing them, we should respond to their hate speech with acceptance speech, tolerance speech, and inclusivity speech.

So, little dinks, you got four new little dink members because of the Trib's editorial, eh? Great. Now we can identify four more scared little bunnies. So, fly your banner! It makes it much easier to identify the scared, sad, pathetic manchildren among us. Δ

The Shredder doesn't express office machine pride because office machines aren't under attack. Express free speech at [email protected].