Hoping to get out of a mistake marriage via annulment? Look before you leap 

First, it should be patently obvious that nothing in this article should be considered legal advice. You already blew it by marrying the wrong person. Don't compound it by taking as gospel something you read in a wedding issue of an alternative news weekly. Sheesh!

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• Photos By Glen Starkey
• TRASHED AND BURNED Annulling a marriage mistake is easier said than done.

OK, now that we've covered the obvious, here's the bad news. There are only eight legal reasons to annul a marriage in California, and deciding you made a big mistake isn't one of them (see selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/annulment). However, if you and your wish-we-weren't-betrothed are willing to work together and maybe fudge the truth, you might be able to dissolve your marriage without the expense and acrimony of a messy divorce. Probably not ... but read on.

First, what exactly is an annulment? It's when a judge says in court that your union—whether it be a marriage or domestic partnership—is not legally valid. In other words, right from the get-go, there was something legally wrong with your union. An annulment is like the marriage never happened because it was never legal in the first place.

So, what are the eight reasons? Well, the first two are the easiest to grasp because these two situations are never legal. Want to guess before I tell you? Go ahead. If you said incest and bigamy, ding-ding! You're the big winner. You can't legally marry a close blood relative, such as a parent and child (ew!), siblings (also ew!), aunt, uncle, niece, or nephew (ew! ew! ew! ew!).

I don't know how they're doing things in Utah these days, but in California you can't legally marry someone who's already married to someone else. Sorry swingers, but you're going to have to get jiggy without the legal protections of marriage.

Now for the real down and dirty: Here are the remaining six reasons you can legally annul your marriage.

1. If you were under 18 when you married and didn't have a judge's permission, you can request an annulment within four years of your 18th birthday. If you were of legal age and are just trying to get out of mistake marriage, this one's not going to help you unless you want to forge some legal documents like a birth certificate, which is a felony punishable by up to three years in prison and substantial fines. Just get a divorce.

2. If you were tricked into marriage or were the victim of some sort of fraud, you can get an annulment within four years of discovering the fraud. For instance, maybe your partner lied about something that had you known the truth would have kept you from marrying them.

OK, according to The Law Offices of Andy I. Chen in Palo Alto in one of his informative YouTube videos, being disappointed in your spouse's behavior—even behavior that had you known might have stopped you from marrying—isn't enough.

"Let's say you're saying, 'Oh well, you know, she didn't tell me she was a shopaholic,' 'He didn't tell me he was a slob,' 'He didn't tell me he would never go to work.' Is that sufficient to constitute fraud? In general, unfortunately, the answer is no," Chen explained.

Here's the rub. The fraud must be "serious," and it must clearly affect the "substance, the essence" of the marriage. Maybe your spouse lied about his or her ability to have children, or refused to live with you after you were wed, or maybe the only reason they married you was to get a green card.

Just for the record, adultery is not considered fraud and isn't even against the law in California, which is a no-fault divorce state. If you cheated on your spouse in Idaho, on the other hand, you could face three years in prison. In Maryland, you can be fined 10 measly bucks. In California, you're just an asshole. However, if someone falsely impersonates another to maintain a marriage, that's a felony, which means a hefty fine and prison time. Again, instead of ginning up a fraud case, it's probably safer to just get a divorce if you want out of a mistake marriage.

3. Can you argue you didn't have the mental capacity to marry? If you were of unsound mind, or maybe you didn't understand what was happening during the ceremony, you can ask for an annulment. This may be your best bet because it turns out that being blackout drunk can be a reason that you didn't understand the magnitude of your decision. You might need to supply statements of witnesses who can attest to your incapacitating intoxication. Be warned, however, that this won't work if you sobered up and freely lived with your spouse after the ceremony. In other words, keep that bender going until you're ready to call it quits on your sham marriage, Drunky McDrunkenpants.

4. This one's sort of tragic, but if it turns out one of you is physically unable to consummate your marriage—and by that I mean you're physically unable to have intercourse, and it can't be fixed—you can annul within four years. By the way, this doesn't mean an inability to produce children.

5. You can annul if it turns out one of you is married to someone thought dead but—surprise!—is still alive. Ain't that a pisser! If the supposedly deceased was absent for five years or generally thought to be dead but shows up again, you can annul your current marriage and go back to your not-so-dead former spouse. I guess it depends on the circumstances, but would you want to? "Where've you been, honey?" Too bad you can't annul your first marriage instead.

6. Finally, you can request an annulment within four years if you can demonstrate you were forced into the marriage. Again, if you're looking to get out of a mistake marriage, this reason to annul is rife with pitfalls, most importantly California Penal Code 265, which carries a maximum 10-year prison term. Frankly, 10 years seems pretty light for what amounts to kidnapping and rape.

Bottom line, even if you and your spouse agree to the annulment, you'll have to go in front of a judge to explain why your marriage was never legal to begin with, which means offering one of the aforementioned reasons. Your best bet is to prove you were both trashed, shithoused, hammered, plastered, three sheets to the wind, pie-eyed, and when you finally sobered up within four years, you immediately ran to the judge for an annulment. Will it work? Mmm ... probably not.

Annulments are rare in California. If you're not willing to lie, just get a divorce like everybody else. For $139, check out californiaonlinedivorce.com. Or better yet, maybe try marriage counseling. You never know! You may be able to work it out. Δ

Contact Senior Staff Writer Glen Starkey at [email protected].