Cougars & Mustangs: A Horse-y Horizon 

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And thusly began the first week of Cal Poly. Those of you from out of the area—how did it feel? Was there a chill in the air as you took your first few steps toward the large, imposing architecture? Did you feel an unsettling symbolism as the reptilian trees shed their age-d scales, with a terrified look toward the path unraveling before you? Because if you did, you’re getting school and autumn—at least the section of it associated with Hallowe’en—confused. October is coming, dear friends, but you beat it here. Hopefully, your school year, though currently only having comprised of a few days, has been a good one. Are you curious for ideas to spend your very first weekend? That’s cute. Homework first! OK, and then you can do something exciting.

Here’s something! The San Luis Obispo Wind Orchestra will be performing a concert on Saturday at 8 p.m. at the Cuesta College Cultural and Performing Arts Center. The concert, billed as “Video Games, Moby Dick, and More!”, features, as you might expect, plenty of full orchestral selections from a variety of video games (such as Halo, Kingdom Hearts, Civilization IV, and the ever-popular piece “One Winged Angel”) as well as “Of Sailors and Whales” (“a tone poem based on five scenes in Moby Dick”), music from the film The Incredibles and the piece “Frenergy.” Tickets to this evening of music are $19, but for students they are a mere $9.50.

In other news, Cal Poly President Jeffrey D. Armstrong kicked off the school year with the university’s annual school conference. There were several goals and initiatives laid upon the table with this state-of-the-university keynote address. One point related to a goal of increasing enrollment to respond to California’s needing, according to Armstrong, more four-year graduates.

“Enrollment growth is essential,” Armstrong said. “California—really, the country—needs more Cal Poly graduates. However, the extent, nature, and timing of growth are” Hold on a moment. Did he just really just say that? I’m all for pride in your education but—what?!

“California—really, the country—needs more Cal Poly graduates.”

Of course! Why didn’t I think of that before! The answer to all of our nation’s cultural, ethical, financial, and technical issues packed tight into one equine package! One Armstrong went on the Moon. One begat so much essential jazz. Yet another participated in a fair amount of famous bicycle races! But neither wheel nor rocket nor scat solo shall transport the future to us now—the future arrives on hooves! VICTORY!

Comrade Chris White-Sanborn wants YOU to learn by doing! Applications can be dropped off at everyone’s favorite suddenly-archaically named digital recruiting office, [email protected].