Food to get you through … the break-up

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“It’s over.”

Maybe the words were said in a text, or a tweet, or maybe they weren’t said at all, but the fact remains: Your relationship is kaput. Whether it was a girlfriend of five years or that person who only calls after 10:55 p.m., you’re looking to cut a swath through that depression that makes it impossible to put on pants before mid afternoon.

Even if there’s no cure for heartbreak, there are certainly things to get you limping along. Nicholas Sparks built his entire empire on the backs of the couch-ridden, sweatpants-clad, recently dumped.

One such comfort you can and should afford yourself after a break-up is a trip to Arroyo Grande’s Éclair bakery. So put down the Le Petites, the Felicity box set (guys—this means you!), grab a pair of pants that doesn’t have elastic around the ankles, and get yourself to the bakery.

Éclair bakery doesn’t want to argue with you about that reply text you sent to an old college fling, or who last took out the garbage. Éclair bakery just wants to soothe all your ills with a cookie, cupcake, or pastry. So let it!

For a mere 75 cents, you can wrap your Doritos- and tear-stained lips around a delicious, chocolate-dipped, shortbread cookie. You might begin to feel pangs of sympathy for your ex by the second bite.

For those who have given up on their social lives, but not their dietary morals, there’s the vegan mint cupcake for $2.50. The thick frosting will chisel away at most of those doubts about whether he really did love the dog more than you. By the time you hit the fluffy, rich cake itself, you’ll be saying, “Ex? What ex?”

If you consider yourself a realist or a nonconformist, you might be saying, “This is absurd. I do not need to eat every one of my feelings.” To which Éclair bakery replies with one of its pecan bars at $2.95 a pop. One bite in, nonconformist, and you may no longer wonder why your attitude has left you single. Don’t worry, there’s always okcupid.com.

Éclair bakery is at 117 E. Branch St., suite B, Arroyo Grande. ∆

Intern Maeva Considine compiled this week’s column. We want a Bite! Send us your food, wine, and related news at bites@newtimesslo.com.

This article appears in Feb 2-9, 2012.