I wonder what Cal Poly President Jeffrey Armstrong really thinks about being dragged before the Republican-led hearing “Beyond the Ivy League: Stopping the Spread of Antisemitism on American Campuses” on May 7. Did it accomplish anything?
Chaired by Tim Walberg (R-Michigan), the hearing grilled Armstrong and two other college presidents about their handling of the perceived antisemitism of pro-Palestine campus protests in the wake of the devastating Gaza war.
Like a good little sycophant, Armstrong said all the right things about Cal Poly’s new antisemitism task force and its Jewish climate survey and the development of an action plan, which didn’t stop some Republican committee members from calling all three presidents’ apologies and promises “hollow” and “lip service.” In fact, Congressman Joe Wilson (R-South Carolina) criticized Armstrong for being an “outspoken DEI proponent.”
Ha! We wish. He was obeying in advance and burying his university’s DEI office inside another department before President Donald J. Trump even signed his first bullshit executive order.
“I believe that DEI chills and actually restricts and restrains academic freedom. It’s been my view that diversity means no ideological diversity,” Wilson said.
Spoken like a true entitled white man who doesn’t understand bigotry, prejudice, intolerance, and the systemic racism that pervades every level of American society. Doublespeak and dystopia are upon us, my fellow Americans. I guess we shouldn’t expect better from Wilson, who began his life of “public service” as a staffer for South Carolina senator and avowed racial segregationist Strom Thurmond. You know, the senator who in 1957 stood for 24 hours and 18 minutes to filibuster against Civil Rights.
So, tell us the truth, Dr. Armstrong. Was this hearing a load of time-wasting hooey?
Speaking of wasting time, how’d you like to spend hours on a school bus to get back and forth to middle school? That’s the situation for Carrisa Plains Elementary students when they reach sixth grade. They get bused into Atascadero middle and high schools, about 50 miles away, and if you’ve ever traveled by school bus with all its various stops, you know it’s a slog.
“Long bus rides take a toll, especially on middle schoolers,” Patty Hermosillo said during public comments at the last Atascadero Unified School District (AUSD) board meeting. One parent said that between school and the bus ride, students were gone 55 hours a week!
The Carissa school used to be K-8, and many parents are lobbying the AUSD to expand the school again so their children can avoid the interminable bus ride. According to district Superintendent Tom Butler, that ain’t gonna happen anytime soon.
Let’s bright-side this, baby. Carrisa Plains middle schoolers can continue to score some extra Zs as they get bused into A-Town. Maybe they won’t fall asleep in math class! Oh, who am I kidding? Zzzz.
Speaking of bright sides, party-poopers unite. This week’s cover story outlines law enforcement’s misguided approach (in my opinion!) to student parties like St. Fratty’s Day in SLO and Deltopia in Santa Barbara. Hey, nobody likes property damage or public endangerment (well, except anarchists), but sometimes people need to get a little wild. Instead of trying to squelch people’s inherent need for community and intoxication, we should find a safer way to facilitate it.
I’m not sure Cal Poly’s Morning on the Green music festival to manage St. Fratty’s—that cost $1.2 million to produce and was overrun by an extra 1,000 students beyond the planned 5,000 attendees—is the best way, but at least the school tried something new instead of doing the same thing: over-enforcement. Part of the problem is ignorance.
“I don’t know the purpose of St. Fratty’s Day except dressing up in green and getting drunk early in the morning and being with thousands of people,” SLO City Councilmember Jan Marx lamented. “When I say I don’t know, I’m truly ignorant. So I would love it if someone could educate me about why it’s so much fun.”
Well, OK! It seems someone has forgotten what it’s like to be young and frisky. Adolescent risk-taking, anyone? Flirting? De-stressing from the challenges of college? Peer pressure? Fostering a sense of belonging? Getting high? Good grief, Jan. Have you never just cut loose?
And Mardi Gras riot? Can we stop calling the 2004 parade the “Mardi Gras riot”? When you try to disperse 30,000 revelers out of the downtown immediately after a parade but have no place for them to go, they’re going to get pissed and resist. This “riot” could have been easily avoided if city authorities had provided a way for the crowds to disperse organically. Think about the Santa Barbara Summer Solstice Parade.
It’s Santa Barbara County’s largest event with crowds of up to 100,000 people, and the parade travels nine blocks before ending in Alameda Park where there are vendors and live music. People can hang out and continue to revel or go home when they’re ready. Mardi Gras should have ended at Mitchell Park with a festival, duh!
“Now I gotta cut loose, footloose, kick off the Sunday shoes. Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees. Jack, get back, come on before we crack. Lose your blues. Everybody cut footloose.” Δ
The Shredder has rollers. Spin it across the dance floor at shredder@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in May 15-25, 2025.
Batons, tear gas, pepper balls, tasers, etc.
These are great tools to prevent that kind of activity.