Cover Story
The pursuit of happyness
EDITOR’S NOTE The following is Juan Cervantes’ story, much of it translated into English from interviews with New Times reporters. There are parts we can not possibly verify. Take it for what is, and remember to give your dad a hug this Father’s Day. Juan Cervantes is the kind of guy who refuses to let…
Nipomo pipeline survives injunction attempt
A $17.5 million project to connect the Nipomo Mesa to an outside water supply withstood a recent legal challenge by a citizens’ group. On June 5, Judge Martin Tangeman denied a preliminary injunction request and allowed the project to go forward during litigation. Given the scope of the pipeline plans and the court docket, that…
Noble beasts
A description of Eugene O’Neill’s The Hairy Ape reads, “A Comedy of Ancient and Modern Life in Eight Scenes.” A comedy, I wonder, for whom? Certainly, the play’s main character, Yank, sees no humor in his dire situation. An engine stoker on board an ocean liner, Yank chafes at authority, resents the upper class, and…
CLUBS – 6/13-6/20
Goin’ South … BRANCH ST. DELI: 203 E. Branch St., Arroyo Grande, 489-9099. Live music Fri. from 5:30-8:30 p.m. THE CLIFFS RESORT: 2757 Shell Beach Road, 773-5000 or cliffsresort.com. F. MCLINTOCKS SALOON: Two locations: 750 Mattie Road in Pismo Beach and 133 Bridge St. in Arroyo Grande. 773-1892 or mclintocks.com. Live music at the Pismo…
Double exposure
The human body has always had the ability to repulse and excite. Perhaps in equal measure. Perhaps even at the same time. And as long as humans have existed, it seems, we have been freaking out about what to do with it; how to speak about it; what to think about it. A group show…
Religious experience can benefit everybody
The Lord’s Prayer: Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver…
I extend this invitation
Yo Shred, my mother is a “grandma who watches Fox news” (“I told you so,” June 6). Why don’t you and I meet up for a beer at Firestone, or a bar of your choosing, and you can tell me how “passively racist” my mother truly is, then I can teach you a lesson in…
The main thing
A slab of concrete near my house in San Luis Obispo contains the following nugget of Stengelese wisdom: The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing. This message echoes in politics, a realm where something starts about one thing and often ends about something else. The emphasis usually shifts in ways harmful…
Bites
Nothing makes me feel like a neurotic parent quite like homebrewing. Even the experience of crafting a phenomenal brew comes with the attendant disappointment of the yeast doing something unexpected. Fermenting too vigorously or too little. Carbonation issues. Turbidity. Off flavors, particularly in subtle beer styles. True happiness in brewing comes from letting the yeast…
The SLO wine experience
With the announcement of yet another winemakers’ dinner, you may be thinking it’s the same old thing; sometimes I do, too, but I discovered this time that I had to think again. The winemakers in Edna Valley, who have to show up at way too many dog and pony shows, thought beyond the norm when…
SLOLT announces its new season
The theater has long been a place to pose life’s biggest questions, such as, why do fools fall in love? At least, that’s the central question of the kickoff show of the SLO Little Theatre’s recently released 2013-2014 season. A ’60s bachelorette musical written by Roger Bean and directed by Kevin Harris, Why Do Fools…
Hang on to your whiskey
It’s a foggy and dreary day in Avila Beach when I pull my car around to the golf course on Sunday, June 9, for the first-ever Blarney at the Beach—a food, music, and booze festival of Irish proportions. The dichotomy illustrated by what my girlfriend Aileen and I came to Avila Beach to do, and…
What is the corniest joke your dad has told?
Danielle Mullery student “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Ralph.” “Ralph who?” “Ralph, it’s your puppy.” Amber Domako student “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Banana.” “Banana who?” “Banana you!” Amanda Woodle student “A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, ‘We have a drink named for you.’ And the grasshopper says, ‘Really? You have a…
Be a day tripper!
Full festival camping passes for the 25th Annual Live Oak Music Festival set for Friday through Sunday, June 14 to 16, at Camp Live Oak off Hwy. 154 near Santa Barbara (liveoakfest.org) are sold out, but day passes are still available for all three days! It’s easy to head down for a day trip ($55,…
Willy Wonka meets corn
Tricia Harbour and her family left her gourmet popcorn shop, SLO Pop, and headed to their stations during a recent Thursday Farmer’s Market in downtown SLO. Tricia Harbour made the cotton candy with her 1-year-old strapped to her chest while her 11-year-old son watched his 3-year-old brother. Her husband made the kettle corn and the…
Wade in the fairway
It’s officially official. It is with great sadness, glee, melancholy, and a little more glee that I inform you that this esteemed column is about to lose one of its longtime stars. Atascadero City Manager Wade McKinney is fleeing “The Heart of the Central Coast” for the—quick, what’s the hoity toitiest organ?—upturned nose of Southern…
Cougars & Mustangs
The weekend after this column comes out, June 15 and 16, will find people walking across the stage—people I care for and have grown accustomed to seeing, who I might never be in the same room with again. In a year, I, too, will likely untie the band of cloth keeping my wings in place…
The grand scheme of things
It’s been more than five years since the state’s proposal to buy 584 acres of county-owned dunes land for recreational vehicle use crossed county planners’ desks, and though that sale has long sat idle thanks to opposition from the environmental community, it seems there’s a quiet effort to lobby the Board of Supervisors to once…
Rolling blacktop
You don’t have to be a circus performer or cartoon bear to ride a unicycle. In fact, quite a few people play polo or hockey on unicycles. An even more select few, such as Morro Bay’s Mark Wilder, play basketball. “It’s a lot easier than people think. It’s not dangerous,” Wilder said. “That’s a common…
Steve Moss lives on
New Times founder Steve Moss had a way with words. He had a way with people. But he especially had a way with people who had a way with words. After his death in 2005, his friends and family wanted to ensure that he would keep having his way with young writers—no, that’s not right.…
Lucia Mar re-funds some cut programs
In addition to the programs and positions the Lucia Mar Unified School District Board of Trustees voted to restore in May, all district employees will receive a two percent pay increase. The board approved the bump at its June 11 meeting. The increase is a just-for-now kind of thing. It marks the completion of contract…
Dems strike a conservative budget deal
A Democratic supermajority and budget surplus—at least relative to recent years of aggressive cuts—allowed Gov. Jerry Brown and legislative leaders to barter a deal on the state budget ahead of deadline. Under the plan, California will enter the fiscal year that begins July 1 with $96.4 billion to spend. Joint budget committee co-chairs Sen. Mark…
Southern California Edison sings sad SONGS
Another U.S. nuclear power plant has gone offline for good. This time, it’s Diablo Canyon’s sister to the south, Southern California Edison’s embattled San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station, known as SONGS. The utility announced the decision to permanently retire the facility’s two units on June 7. Both units have been offline since January 2012, after…
Council stays mum on replacing McKinney
Though there’s a clear front-runner, no official word came down at the June 11 Atascadero City Council meeting on the city’s choice to replace departing city manager Wade McKinney. City Clerk Marcia McClure Torgerson said that no reportable action came out of the closed session agenda item titled “Public Employee Appointment—City Manager.” However, at the…
Outrage follows reinstatement of bar-brawling firefighter
In a move that shocked many locals, the city of San Luis Obispo has reinstated a firefighter who remains in legal hot water. John Ryan Mason, a 10-year veteran of the fire department, was terminated in November following a lengthy criminal trial for his role in an off-duty fight in a SLO bar and grill…
