Cover Story
Fat? There’s an app for that
It was early one Monday morning during my senior year of college when I realized I had completely let myself go. I awoke to my alarm blaring some Bob Marley tune, which I no doubt chose in some pseudo-zen attempt to wake up relaxed. Instead, I found myself batting at the iPhone alarm on my…
Roach returns!
Want to know what wife beater, drug addict, criminal, and musical genius Ike Turner had to say about Café R&B? “Café R&B knocked me on my butt. I ain’t seen shit like that since me and you-know-who!” It’s perfectly reasonable to equate Café R&B singer Roach’s talent to Tina Turner’s, and R&B guitarist Byl Carruthers…
He’s real
The first thing I notice when my wife and I arrive at the PAC is the Shatner demographic. If there are any Trekkies here, their nerdiness is well disguised. Everyone looks middle aged, as if they grew up with Shatner. I think my wife Anna is the youngest person in attendance! After an adult beverage…
America in black and white
How come no one ever tells me anything? Such as, for example, that Atascadero-based master photographer Joe Schwarz was quietly exhibiting some of his legendary folk photography at Linnaea’s Café this month? Schwarz, 99, was born in Brooklyn in 1913. He served in the Marines as a combat photographer during World War II, and joined…
The Dr. is in
So much in the life of Theodor Seuss Geisel can be attributed to chance. His famous nom de plume, for instance, might never have caught on if a young Geisel hadn’t been caught drinking gin in his college dorm in 1925. (Funny but true: Geisel had been editor of Dartmouth’s humor magazine, the Jack-O-Lantern. Stripped…
Golden circles
Art is, among myriad other things, a conversation—sometimes between two people who have never met. Such was the case, at least, for Cambria’s Gail Lapins and Bay Area-based Jenny E. Balisle, who, at the request of curator Ruta Saliklis, worked in isolation from one another on the joint exhibit “Paths Intersected,” which currently hangs at…
Clubs: 1/24
Goin’ South … BRANCH ST. DELI: 203 E. Branch St., Arroyo Grande, 489-9099. Live music Fri. from 5:30-8:30 p.m. THE CLIFFS RESORT: 2757 Shell Beach Road, 773-5000 or cliffsresort.com. F. MCLINTOCKS SALOON: Two locations: 750 Mattie Road in Pismo Beach and 133 Bridge St. in Arroyo Grande. 773-1892 or mclintocks.com. Live music at the…
Questions For: Joan Crowder
NEW TIMES Why do the elephant seals all come to San Simeon? CROWDER They actually didn’t start coming until 1990. The reason it’s a really good place is that babies don’t know how to swim when they’re born, and the mothers only nurse them for a month. They have to teach themselves how to swim,…
Hawks can be cute
So I’m lying out doors, in the grass. “I” being a homeless person. So I see a lot of stuff. On this particular occasion, I am lying on my back staring up at the sky. It has been butt-ass cold for a month, yet the days eventually warm up to perfection. This city I live…
Get rid of the ceiling for this fix
Fix Social Security and start paying off the debt at the same time. See the table at npr.org/blogs/money/2012/07/16/156688596/what-americans-earn. Just remove the ceiling on Social Security payroll tax (currently at $113,700 per year). If you assume that the numbers are slightly better than the table (2010), because they are, it’s hard to make the total amount…
Learn from our history of violence
“The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” We need the Second Amendment now more than ever. The government knows of the people’s discontent with the government. They have a contingency plan. As Mr. Kalkowski stated in a previous letter to the editor, “We can be assured that our military will not…
No more scare tactics
The news that the 7 billionth baby in the world was born sounded pretty grim to those who fear population explosion. Of course, Bill Denneen, the local guru for Planned Parenthood, expounded on his “condoms supplied in every high school, etc.” mantra. The developed world has long caught on to reducing child bearing. The “shining”…
Invest in higher education now or pay later
Currently 36 percent of adults living in California have earned an associate’s degree or higher. However by 2020, 67 percent of the jobs in our state will require a college degree. In order to close this 31 percent skills gap, more Californians must attend college and not only graduate but graduate in a timely manner.…
Maybe a knucklehead will be more aware … nah
I wanted to comment on the piece that was submitted by Jack Lukes (“Livin’ la vida local”) in the Jan. 17 New Times. I just wanted to say (not sure if he’s on the payroll or not), that it was one of the funniest “laugh out loud” pieces I have ever read. I have certainly…
My simple suggestion
Dear sour guy who hates SLO (“Livin’ la vida local,” Jan. 17), I assume no one has a gun to your head: MOVE.
Sun who?
In preparation for an approaching family reunion paintball tournament, I’ve taken to reading Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. That is, I started reading it. And then I realized that it’s 13 chapters and uses really big words like “tactical dispositions.” Dude was a badass, no doubt about it. But he was also a bit…
Zombies, missiles, and Mount Doom
New year, gonna run, gonna do five zillion pushups, gonna cleanse—you know the drill. Sure, you could get some heart-rate monitoring Nike+ shoes that bluetooth into your social media web 4.0 and … nah. If you’re already a fitness fanatic, the routine isn’t the hard part. Sometimes you don’t want working out to feel like…
Bites: Fresh off the press
I have yet to meet a beer I couldn’t drink. That said, I have drunk some pretty shameful beers (I’m pretty sure some of the drafts I had in college were created by breaking a mercury thermometer over a bottle of motor oil). So you can understand why when I do find a good beer…
An Ice Age of emotions on a warming planet
Once again this nation has discharged the looney-tunes world of uncompromising gun ownership. Meanwhile, the planet no longer politely speaks and now hands us looney-tune climate conditions. Rude is rampant. Gun fanatics scream while Mother Earth kicks us like an old tin can. I’m feeling like I might want to resurrect one of those bomb…
Bogle 2010 Old Vine Zinfandel California
This young, full-bodied Zin was tight when uncorked but quickly opened up. It tastes of ripe black fruit flavors and wild berry notes nicely offset by nuances of tangy cranberry, earth, allspice, and black pepper. It’s best decanted while it’s still young. This is best enjoyed with sweet and tangy barbecued pork ribs, a good…
Daou 2010 Celestus Paso Robles
My first visit to this new winery and tasting room, Daou (pronounced Dow), in Paso’s Adelaida wine region, was impressive on every count. Atop the mountain, the panoramic view of North County is spectacular, as is the beautiful Spanish architecture where everything was handcrafted when brothers/vignerons Daniel and Georges Daou built this stunning estate. The…
A dream come true
Who can count the number of times we San Luis Obispoans have lamented that we don’t have any upscale Asian restaurants in our county? Obviously, we didn’t include the sushi bars that are so prevalent across the Central Coast now (in fact, most of them are owned and operated by Korean-born chefs). We all complained…
Cougars & Mustangs
After having spent about a month in your room on your computer, being forced to stretch your legs and once again walk around the school campus probably doesn’t seem easy, Cougars. But whenever you feel like “this just isn’t fair” or “I don’t think I can handle another semester of this,” bear in mind that…
Coached off the couch
Doctors tend to be problem solvers. They pin broken bones back together, prescribe drugs that can kill infections, and cut hearts open to clear cholesterol blockages. The modern health-care industry was built on administering these kinds of highly effective scientific breakthroughs, with their immediate, measurable impacts on illnesses and injuries. Frankly, it’s amazing what doctors…
Uncertain future
He sat in custody in the San Luis Obispo County Superior Courthouse, hunched over in his orange jumpsuit, shackled hands folded, a yellow manila envelope with a number of photographs resting in his lap. He had just returned to his seat among the 10 or so other men and women in orange and red, awaiting…
Corrections
• An article regarding the recent California Coastal Commission meeting in Pismo Beach (“Significant and unavoidable,” Jan. 17) misstated the employment history of a public speaker. Gene Nelson was a contractor for Pacific Gas & Electric at Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant in April 2007 and no longer works for the utility. Furthermore, recent seismic…
Andrew Carter to vacate SLO City Council seat
After serving six years on the San Luis Obispo City Council, Andrew Carter suddenly announced on Jan. 23 that he would be leaving his position to become the city administrator for Guadalupe, a small town west of Santa Maria. According to a press release from Guadalupe, Carter is scheduled to begin his new job on…
Man chains himself to tree, briefly, in protest of park plan
Los Osos resident Jonas Richardson chained himself to a Nipomo Community Park oak tree on Jan. 20 in protest of the park master plan unanimously passed by the San Luis Obispo County Board of Supervisors on Dec. 18. The plan serves as a blueprint for the next 20 years of development within the park, including…
Opposition blocks Hill’s APCD chairmanship
In a show of political force by residents and board members, county supervisor Adam Hill and San Luis Obispo City Mayor Jan Marx had their respective chairman and vice-chairmanship appointments blocked at the Air Pollution Control District’s meeting. Following more than an hour of public comment on a matter typically seen as routine, a literally…
SLO rallies 40 years after Roe v. Wade
Dozens of supporters filled the sidewalks at the Broad and Higuera intersection in downtown San Luis Obispo on Jan. 22 to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the United States Supreme Court’s decision on Roe v. Wade, which legalized a woman’s right to obtain an abortion. Most of the crowd consisted of women who remembered the…
SLO continues fight with Homeless Alliance
The City of San Luis Obispo is playing hardball with two local attorneys, just days after a superior court judge ordered the city to award them fees related to fighting last year’s crackdown on sleeping overnight in vehicles. San Luis Obispo County Superior Court Judge Charles Crandall ruled Jan. 17 that attorneys Stew Jenkins and…
Paso settles excessive force suit
The city of Paso Robles has settled a federal civil rights lawsuit filed last year by Rodi Bragg, who alleged that Officer Jeffry Bromby used excessive force to arrest her for a minor offense—shoplifting a bottle of juice or water—outside of Scolari’s Market on July 30, 2010. The parties settled for $50,000. New Times first…
Doobie Half-Dozen files suit against state
Everybody knew it was coming, and here it is. Nearly a year after their cases were reluctantly dismissed by the San Luis Obispo County District Attorney’s Office, five of the medical marijuana collective operators arrested in 2010’s controversial “Operation Green Sweep” have filed a civil suit against the California Department of Justice. On Dec. 27,…
Defendant accuses Pismo Beach police department of skirting due process
When Robert Scott Sproston was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence on Sept. 15, 2012, a breath test showed he had a Blood Alcohol Content of .21, well over the legal driving limit and just enough to earn him a special enhancement with more than the usual jail time, according to prosecutors. Sproston’s…
Backyard find spurs bomb scare in SLO
U.S. Air Force Explosive Ordinance Disposal Unit Technical Sgt. Johnathan Homer carried a Zuni five-inch rocket warhead from a residence in San Luis Obispo to his vehicle for transport to Vandenberg Air Force Base on Jan 18. The warhead was developed and tested at China Lake Naval Air Weapons Station between the 1950s and…
Cloak and dagger meets chocolate and peanut butter
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a vegan and gluten-free cookie that tastes great. Your target is the Undercover Cookie Company. Delivering home-baked cookies that leave you guilt-free, Undercover Cookies is run by three health-conscious yoga instructors. Valerie Mantzoros, Cindy Toda, and Eva Klembarova all work at the Bikram hot…
What’s the worst piece of health advice you’ve ever received?
Marlys Burgin mom/security guard “If you take a pill for diabetes, you don’t have diabetes.” Claire Allen jeweler’s assistant “Put bleach on your face; it’s good for pimples.” Jeremy Lewis retired “Keep smoking and you’ll get healthier.” Mike Pace bus driver “The water’s fine at Venice Beach.”
