I hate to break this news to you in this way, but you are only one of almost 300,000 people living in San Luis Obispo County. The county doesn’t work for just one of you, or even 100 of you. It works for everyone. It represents the interests of the majority.
I wasn’t sure if you knew that this was how “Big Government” works, but it is.
I’m getting the impression that Jim and Michelle “Small Town America” Wortner from Golden Pheasant Farm and Vineyards in Creston don’t have a good grasp of how county government works. They recently sent out a very long letter to each individual county supervisor and New Times because they are pissed off about “Big Cannabis” and seem to be under the impression that our county government should be working for only the 94 census-designated residents of Creston.
Big Cannabis is apparently taking over Small Town America in and around Creston, and the safety of the children is at stake! Crime is about to overtake idyllic ag land and it will never be the same! Never mind all of the vineyards that surround SLO County’s littlest of the little bergs. It’s not like “Big Wine” is a thing (no, never!), and you can’t be a drunk driver if it takes law enforcement more than 30 minutes to find you!
The Wortners seem perturbed that Creston’s 94 residents don’t have more of a say when it comes to the county’s ordinance creation and amendment process. When the county Planning Commission met on May 23 to consider amendments to the cannabis ordinance that the county passed in 2017, nary a word about Creston was said.
Tsk. Tsk.
Not only that, but the Creston Advisory Body canceled its most recent meeting due to a lack of quorum, so county staff should have known to take the community’s April comments about a specific cannabis project and incorporate them into the county ordinance discussion!
Duh, guys. What are you even doing with your lives?
“County staff … did not represent the community point of view—period,” the Wortners lamented in the letter. “If county staff works for the people, and represented our interests, one would assume our issues and solutions would have been included in the ordinance update proposed to the Planning Commission. It was not.”
Those little recommendations definitely made their way into the June 4 SLO County Board of Supervisors meeting. They seemed to fall verbatim out of 5th District Supervisor Debbie “I Want What I Want” Arnold‘s mouth—who tried to, once again, force county supervisors to vote on something they absolutely shouldn’t be voting on yet. Debbie, I need you to write, “I will not commit a Brown Act violation ever again,” 1,000 times on a blackboard.
She is definitely beholden to her constituents, I’ll give her that. All you have to do is write a strongly worded letter advocating for whatever it is that you desire (it’s an election year, people!), and she will forget that it takes more than 94 people to get re-elected. I write strongly worded open letters every week, and they’re full of suggestions! WTF, Debbie? Why don’t you listen to me!? I vote, damnit.
The Wortners would just love it if the county could eliminate any type of industrial manufacturing (you know, the transformation of goods, materials, or substances into new products) on agriculturally zoned land in the county.
“Any kind of industrial manufacturing—not just cannabis—does not belong on agricultural property or in residential agriculture areas,” they wrote.
Making and bottling wine should be out; milking cattle, pasteurizing it, and making cheese, out; processing olive oil, out; crafting value-added products on your farm, out. Shoot! That’s going to piss off a lot more than 94 people!
And now that corporations are people (Thanks, Supreme Court of the United States), Creston believes that residences should be considered the same as schools, parks, and day care centers. What is the world even coming to?
Creston residents would also just absolutely love it if there would be no outdoor cannabis allowed in the county—and I’m pretty sure 4th District Supervisor Lynn “It Smells Really Bad” Compton is on that boat, too. That’s just like, your opinion, man! The smell of cannabis really is more of an acquired smell, one that, once acquired, is easy to love!
You know what I would absolutely love? If I didn’t have to smell rotten eggs and look at oil derricks every time I drive through Price Canyon, but I’m sure you Creston residents don’t see eye-to-shredder with me on that. Wait, I know! I’ll just write an open letter to the supervisors. I’m sure Debbie will take up my cause. Not!
Meanwhile, Santa Barbara County almost has 1,000 cannabis permits approved and SLO County is creeping toward its 18th with more than half of the permit approvals appealed or dragged into the court system. So, really, Creston has nothing to worry about.
Especially, since the county is probably going to change the regulations in its cannabis ordinance anyway with more than 100 potential cannabis applications in the pipeline that would be subject to whatever NIMBY crawls up the behind of the nearest county supervisor.
Wannabe cannabis growers in SLO County, I would pull out while you still can—before Small Town America gets you in its “Big NIMBY” grasp. Δ
The Shredder believes in small towns and big governments. Send comments to shredder@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in Food & Drink.
Yes, you are so right – the SLO Board of Supervisors are absolutely dead wrong listening to, and representing, the Residents of Creston – they should be listening to, and representing the Cannabis Growers from San Francisco.
Because the Cannabis Growers of San Francisco have the County’s best interest at heart … not those residents from Creston !
Silly residents of Creston – trying to preserve their current way of life … what are they thinking ?
Get out of the way Creston – California needs another Humbolt County.
The answer to California’s problems is clearly Cannabis ! Can’t you see that Creston ?
We need more stoned people driving on our roads and living under our bridges.
I say change that silly Bald Eagle as our national symbol to a cannabis leaf !
And California quit wasting our time honoring our country’s founding fathers and WW II veterans, etc., we should be honoring the cannabis cultivators !
Thomas, you had me until you had people living under bridges. Cannabis is just not that way. Reefer madness strikes again.
Drug Addiction and Alcoholism battling wow I never thought I would see the day it would be acceptable by the people. Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right.
An Open Invitation for Shredder to CTMBY in Creston
Shredder:
This is my personal invitation for you to Come to My Back Yard (CTMBY) and meet the citizens of Creston.
Mark your calendar for Wednesday, June 19, 2019. Come to our Creston Advisory Body (CAB) meeting held at the Creston Community Church,5170 O’Donovan Rd, Creston, CA 93432. The meetings starts at 7:00 pm.
At this CAB meeting, two proposed cannabis projects will be reviewed by the CAB board for community recommendation to the SLO Department of Building and Planning. The CAB is the only direct input we have on a cannabis project that impacts our community. Unfortunately, only Big Cannabis has had inputs to this point – the public has not had the same opportunities to shape the countys cannabis policies.
Its all about land use NOT cannabis use. You missed the essence of my May 26 letter to the Board of Supervisors and the process used by the Planning Commission and Department of Planning and Building.
In contrast to your editorial comments to my Board of Supervisor letter, your editorial missed the residential agriculture publics real issues with Big Cannabis. At this CAB meeting, you will actually see and hear Small Town America exercise its civic rights and provide our point-of-views on why we do not want Big Cannabis projects forced in our back yards. You might even gain insights to some of the facts from my letter that were discussed at the June 4, 2019 Board of Supervisors meeting regarding…
1) Eliminate industrial cannabis manufacturing on Agricultural Zoned Land. Chemical extraction of THC using ethanol as solvent and/or liquid carbon dioxide at high pressures is an explosion and fire risk. This is not farm to table, this is industrial chemical manufacturing.
2) Include residential dwelling units in the sensitive receptor definition and site restrictions. Homes and families should have the same set back safety restrictions of 1000 feet as schools, day care facilities and elder care centers from a cannabis project.
3) Keep the cultivation of cannabis indoors, and limited to sealed greenhouses that do not vent to the atmosphere. The Nuisance Odors from cannabis can not be managed with outdoor cultivation, therefore, in proximity to residential agriculture neighborhoods, require indoor cultivation technologies to mitigate this air pollution. Implement a set of strict density limitations for the number of cannabis cultivation sites that may be near each other in a neighborhood area.
4) Require compliance with the California Environmental Quality Act by ending undue exemptions to cannabis projects. Any business that constructs new buildings must go through an environmental study and if warranted an environmental report per state law. Big cannabis should not be exempt from following CEQA state law. There are currently two SLO county lawsuits specific to this issue.
Big Cannabis brings negative impacts to our residential agriculture community, health, safety, homes and families. Not just in Creston, but across San Luis Obispo County. Thats why we dont want to be forced to have Big Cannabis in our back yards. For reference and fact based information, check out slocannabiswatchgroup.org. Once you learn the facts – you will NIMBY too.
New Times San Luis Obispo should have you cover this story at the CAB meting and allow the Creston community to meet you in person. Perhaps we could all learn your real name? Out here in the country we like to get to know someone by their name – its just neighborly.
So join us at the CAB meeting on Wednesday, June 19 and CTMBY here in Creston.
Jim Wortner
Creston Area Resident (aka Small Town America)
We might be just one of 300,000, but I bet if 5% of us unify we can overthrow the city government and get rid of the weed mafia once and for all!
But seriously folks, I’m not against someone having one or two plants in their backyard, but I am against rape, human trafficking, and buying off local government.
Nuclear power is going to be too cheap to meter and computer printers will eliminate paper usage! Make SLO Great Again With Weed Bro!! #MSLOGAWWB