When things aren’t going your way, blame others.
That’s some actionable advice, brought to you by Donald tRump, who recently kicked some prominent media outlets out of the White House for coverage he didn’t like. It’s not their fault the economy’s in the shitter, gas prices are as out of control as his foreign policy, his son’s wedding was paid for by a Russian oligarch, and he’s embroiled in a Middle Eastern war he started that seems like it will never end.
But, hey, all you have to do is call it “FAKE NEWS,” kick out the press, and start your own YouTube channel. That way the government can directly feed the American public the propaganda it was meant to consume and then deny that it’s propaganda. Your supporters will love you for it, and the other 75 percent of the United States can fuck right on off because who’s in power? Trump.
And, obviously, there’s no reason why the press or public should be critical of those in power. That’s not one of the principles this nation was founded on. It’s like separation of church and state. The “evil” liberal freedom takers made it up! What does the press think this is, anyway? A democratic republic? Hah!
Constitutional amendments be damned. We’ve made so many steps toward autocratic governing without anything happening to stop it. Why not take a few more, amirite?
Oops, I got all distracted for a second. Where was I going with that?
Oh yes. Gaea Powell and her blame game.
The embattled two-time failed Arroyo Grande mayoral candidate who didn’t actually live in Arroyo Grande was convicted of election fraud. The jury in her case said she was guilty on all nine of the charges that the SLO County District Attorney’s Office filed against her.
I was actually starting to feel sorry for this woman, who decided to represent herself in the case, got in way over her head, and is now looking at possible jail time. I thought, “Boy, she sure got her ass handed to her.”
Then, she sent out this statement that proves she has learned squat from this whole process. She’s planning to sue District Attorney Dan Dow for violating her rights in the case. Gosh, you know what his office did? Used a warrant to seize her electronic devices while investigating her for committing election fraud. Well, I never!
“Why did this investigation move so rapidly into sweeping searches of my electronic life?” she asked during the trial’s closing arguments.
Shocking, right? I thought the justice system was supposed to be slow.
Must be Dow’s fault that Powell changed her address just so she could run for mayor. She seems concerned that local Democratic Party Chair Tom Fulks and Rabid Republican DA Dow are in cahoots. Why? Well, Fulks forwarded information about Powell’s residency to the county clerk-recorder, who forwarded that information to the district attorney. I smell a conspiracy!
Actually, it must be Arroyo Grande City Clerk Jessica Matson’s fault. Powell already tried to sue her, but the lawsuit was tossed right out of the courthouse.
You know what Matson did? Emailed Powell to let her know that people who live outside of the city aren’t eligible to run for city office. Well, I never!
“I have maintained from the beginning, and I maintain today, that I did not knowingly deceive anyone and did not act with fraudulent intent,” Powell said in a statement to the press soon after the verdict. “I openly discussed my living circumstances, sought guidance from election officials concerning my eligibility to run for office, and believed I was acting lawfully.”
So, even though Powell willfully changed her address to a place she wasn’t living just so she could run for mayor, she believed she was acting lawfully?
She called the case an example of “government corruption,” which she plans to continue fighting. The government caught her and that’s corruption? I’m so confused.
“This case is about a politician who time and time and time again chose to decide that the rules simply did not apply to her,” prosecutor and Deputy DA Ben Blumenthal told the jury.
Gosh. Who else does that sound like?
I won’t say, lest I swerve into another anger-fueled diatribe against our sitting president. If I keep it together, maybe someday I can become part of the White House Press Pool. Then, maybe this office appliance that spouts opinion would be confused for an actual journalist.
As long as I can assuage egos, I’ve got a shot, right?
Fortunately, that’s not how I’m built. So, Cal Poly, you’re next.
The university is moving forward with development plans on Class 1 agricultural land while saying it’s not moving forward with development plans. It’s going to build a Farm Store on the West Campus land, but the rest of its plan—the senior housing, hotel, conference center, restaurants, retail, etc.—is not finalized yet. Nothing to see here!
“Clearly you’re moving forward, and you’re building on prime farmland,” retired plant sciences professor David Headrick said.
Clearly!
The Farm Store would create a “visible and lasting agricultural and education presence,” Cal Poly College of Agriculture, Food, and Environmental Services Dean Brian Horgan said.
Yes. Let’s get rid of the actual agriculture. ∆
The Shredder is a visible and lasting part of New Times. Send hate to shredder@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in Autumn Arts Annual 2026.
Why are school districts and public universities engaged in building housing for staff and other commercial activity? This is our tax money.
Thank you to the jury for your work. You’ve managed to restore a little of my faith in the system, which, these days, is getting harder to rustle up than an honest poker game in your local saloon.
As for Ms. Powell, her complete refusal to take ANY responsibility for her own actions is almost impressive. My favorite bit of irony? She previously wanted to “fix” voter fraud, only to apparently decide the best way to understand the subject was to saddle up and get herself some firsthand experience.
That’s one hell of a way to conduct research.
Now that the consequences have come riding into town, responsibility still seems to be the one critter she just can’t rope. Apparently, accountability is a wonderful thing—as long as it belongs to somebody else.
Perhaps some time contemplating those consequences in the calaboose will give her the opportunity for a little personal growth. A chance to sit quietly, ponder how she ended up in this particular corral, and maybe finally “own it,” as they say.
After all, if you spend enough time riding the high horse of election integrity, you probably shouldn’t act surprised when you eventually get bucked off.
Ms. Powell should be used in a classroom as a case study in terminal narcissism. This is all of her own making. Now she gets to sit in jail for 3 years. Unbelievable, reminds of the lady sitting in prison for creating a fake machine that could test for thousands of diseases from a drop of blood, Theranos.
If anything, we should pity Ms.Powell. she is very sick.
Great Shredder this week! Tom Fulks is the Dude! But I did not know that Tom Fulks was the Dude that “forwarded information about Powell’s residency to the county clerk-recorder, who forwarded that information to the district attorney.” “Well, I never!”
(I always loved that phrase, Well, I never! lol, I heard it a lot.)
Poor victim, Gaea Powell, lives in the maga alternative world, thinking everyone is out to get her. Trump is her “reality tv victim” mentor.
She projects the corruption and crimes she is accused of onto those who work in the legal system, and in the elections office. Gaea may be her own worst enemy.
It is as if she is living in an alternative land of opposites (projection) and funhouse mirrors.
Poor Gaea Powell.
And there goes Cal Poly President Armstrong again, thinking he is King of SLO again.
Trying to pull a trump, saying he is not developing prime Ag Land, when we see him developing prime Ag Land… Please, Stop it Jeffrey!