Get your minds out of the gutter, Morro Bay. Why do you assume happy endings are endemic to the massage therapy industry? Have there been complaints? Arrests? Any evidence that illicit activity is afoot?
Last November, New Times reported on Morro Bay’s proposed ordinance to regulate the city’s 16 massage therapy businesses.
“This ordinance is being brought forward to City Council to provide for the orderly regulation of massage establishments and to prevent and discourage the misuse of massage therapy as a front for illicit activities in violation of state law,” Police Chief Amy Watkins told New Times in an email at the time.
OK, but what drove the proposal to regulate? As far as I can tell, it’s mere empty suspicion. Watkins said some residents raised concerns about the number of businesses operating and the possibility that some were engaged in “illicit activity,” which doesn’t sound like evidence. At. All. Nada. Zilch. Zip.
When the City Council was discussing the ordinance last November, resident Courtney Shepler submitted a public comment saying she had concerns about a North Morro Bay business that opened two to three years ago.
“When the new establishment opened, … there was considerable concern among neighbors as the establishment did not present as a place welcoming of locals interested in legitimate massage therapy,” she said.
Didn’t “present”? OK! Case closed! Nice work, Ironside!
Come on, Morro Bay. This sounds like a “solution” in search of a problem.
Despite the dearth of credible evidence that any kind of actual issue exists, Morro Bay is proceeding with its new ordinance that may require a slew of new regulations and onerous burdens on massage therapists, including inspections by law enforcement.
Talk about sending the wrong message! It’s like therapists are guilty until proven innocent. I don’t think a massage sounds very relaxing or therapeutic if Police Chief Watkins could burst into a dimly lit room resplendent with aromatherapy to make sure no one’s having too much fun.
“This is health work,” Morro Bay Massage Therapy owner and massage practitioner Helena Quintanar told New Times. “People come in because something hurts, and they need help. I want regulation. I just want it to come from a place of understanding, not suspicion.”
Instead of being overseen by law enforcement, Quintanar believes massage therapists might benefit from oversight from public health inspections, for instance, which oversee tattoo studios.
“Massage therapy already struggles with stigma,” she noted.
Morro Bay’s proposed ordinance may also require massage therapists to meet California Massage Therapy Council (CAMTC) certification, which requires 500 hours of training from an approved school, or qualify for a limited grandfathering exception verified by the police chief.
Many practicing massage therapists can’t afford the time or cost of amassing 500 hours of school training, and making decisions about who will be allowed to continue to earn a living and who won’t seems like a lot of power to give someone pushing for an ordinance based solely on suspicion of illegal activity.
The Morro Bay City Council is scheduled to next discuss the proposed ordinance on Jan. 27. Let’s hope reason, not hysteria, prevails.
Speaking of hysteria, Lucia Mar Unified School District—the county’s largest—is facing the legal equivalent of getting its lunch tray overturned, enduring an atomic wedgy, and being shoved into a locker as three looming lawsuits allege child sexual abuse, employee negligence, and assault. Holy crap!
“The well-being of our students and staff is a top priority for Lucia Mar,” district spokesperson Amy Jacobs said. “School districts across California are experiencing a marked increase in claims and litigation. Because these matters involve pending or anticipated legal action, the district cannot comment on specifics at this time.”
Lawsuits are lawsuits and must grind their way through the process. Some will be dropped, some will result in a penalty, and some will undoubtedly be settled out of court, as Lucia Mar recently agreed to do on Dec. 16, paying roughly $50,000 in settlements and legal fees to each of two students.
Some of the child abuse lawsuits are due to reformed laws extending the statute of limitations. For instance, two unnamed women, now 37, claim their former Dana Elementary School teacher, Alexander Polosjuk, sexually abused them between 1997 and 1998.
Look, the dude was arrested and convicted around 1998 for child sexual abuse and is currently a registered sex offender. He’s now 72, and the victims’ lawsuit essentially argues Lucia Mar was too slow to react to complaints and actively tried to cover up the abuse. And they’re probably right.
Just like the San Simeon Community Services District was slow to keep up with its expenses. What in the name of bad governance did the district’s board allow to happen over there? Since SLO County took over as an emergency measure to keep water flowing to residents and wastewater flowing out, the district realized that it needed more money to stay solvent.
The water fund was 32 percent shy of what it needed to operate for the year, and the wastewater fund was 88 percent short. And now residents are facing rate increases of more than 30 percent starting in February. Slow claps all around. ∆
The Shredder prefers gear oil to massage oil. State your preference at shredder@newtimesslo.com.
This article appears in Jan 15-22, 2026.