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Strange days
I should begin, of course, by apologizing for my absence last week, but forget that noise-I don't apologize to anyone. Well, not unless they have a gun, something that unfortunately happens all too often. And it's a sad commentary on the art of column writing when I have to resort to blabbing about that so you won't notice how little I have to write about this week. Sort of like last week, except this week I showed up. Somebody please kill me.
Just kidding. I've got plenty to write about. For one, I really feel sorry for Sheriff Pat Hedges. The poor guy keeps having people die on him before they can get in front of a judge. The deaths of Jay Vestal and Keith Yecny while in police custody have brought to our vernacular such terms as "excited delirium" and "positional asphyxia" to describe what's being called "sudden custody death syndrome," a fancy-pants name for getting killed by police officers when they're trying to haul your ass to jail.
"Excited delirium" sounds wonderful, like something that happens when you fall in love, but it's a delusional mental state when you're really flying on drugs. "Positional asphyxia" is exactly what it says: Putting someone in an awkward body position that cuts off air until they asphyxiate.
"Sudden custody death syndrome" is pretty much self-explanatory. I'm having a hard time buying it, even with a $20 nameplate intending to impress me with its scientific rectitude. And I'm especially doubtful when it comes to Yecny.
According to the sheriff, after Yecny was taken to jail and placed in a safety cell (aka the bouncy room), Yecny continued struggling, then placed his hands through the cell's food slot to have his cuffs removed, but then "suddenly became quiet and stopped struggling." The cops zipped him off to the hospital where a doctor diagnosed the cause of death as something that had blocked the flow of oxygen to his brain for eight or nine minutes.
A police training video has this to say about how to go about taking someone down:
"Symptoms of [excited delirium state] include bizarre and aggressive behavior, fear, high body temperature, profuse sweating, irrational shouting, public disrobing, violent behavior, paranoia, and panic. . When confronting a person who manifests these symptoms, a police officer [should] call and wait for backup. . After backup arrives, officers should swarm the subject, subduing him with the weight and excessive strength of the team."
That sounds like a really good way to hurt someone real bad, and maybe even cut off a bit of oxygen from the noggin. I've no idea whether the Sheriff's Department follows this procedure, or anything like it, but the hazards of taking down someone who's on methamphetamine are divided between perp and cop, with the advantage going to the cops when they show up in droves.
The question is what, exactly, blocked the flow of oxygen to Yecny's brain? There's nothing in the police report addressing it. One minute Yecny was having his handcuffs taken off, the next minute he was dead. It's pretty clear that he was looped on meth, but that wasn't the cause of death according to the hospital. Me, I'd like to know more. Bet you would, too.
SAY WHAT? I'm wondering what went on with former Atascadero Police Chief Dennis Hegwood. The guy resigned last week, but I don't know if it had to do with the rape allegations brought against him (New Times, April 1-8). The guy's been talking about retiring for months, but maybe the allegations pushed him out the door sooner.
If you didn't read it here or hear it on KSBY, the facts are that the wife of a friend of Hegwood accused Hegwood of raping her, while Hegwood says the sex was consensual-the old he-said-she-said standoff where nobody knows what really happened outside the parties involved.
He said: She was dozing in the bedroom and had been drinking a bit, and she wanted to have sex, and I thought, "Who am I to go against the wind?"
She said: I was asleep on the bed and he came in, closed the door, and raped me.
I said: I don't know what's going on here, but it does seem strange that a rapist would carry out his dirty deed knowing someone was in the other room-the sheriff said a witness in the house told him the sex was consensual; it also doesn't appear that any charges will be brought against Hegwood.
She said: That's nonsense.
He said: This is all very awkward.
I said: And confusing.
I'VE GOT MAIL: Looks like we've got time for a few letters.
Allen from San Luis wonders, "When are you going to quit writing this column? Soon, I hope." As soon as you drop dead, Allen.
Karen from Paso Robles writes, "How come you don't have your real name on your column?"
That is my real name. "The" is short for Theodore.
Jim from Arroyo Grande writes, "How come you hide behind a cloak of anonymity? Are you as big a coward as everyone says?"
You've got the wrong newspaper, Jim. My name's on every column. You must mean the Tribune, which runs an anonymous column every day, written anonymously by Bill Morem. Oops. Sorry, Bill. ³
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