Traffic and transportation experts of San Luis Obispo have discovered numerous ways to upgrade streetwear, signage, and maneuverability. But so much more could be done. In addition to the many “humps” drivers happily encounter, could we consider adding taller humps and call them bumps? To further the concept of street gauntlets, perhaps roads could be decorated with gutters, gullies, dips, divots, outcroppings, and carbuncles.
For the sake of creative expression, let’s increase the length of stoplights beyond their current wait time. During this extended pause, one could compose a second novel or conduct a search on Google: “The Meaning of Life as it Relates to Patience and Lost Opportunities.” Please do not think of the fuel being consumed and pollution being emitted during your wait. Trust you are being taught a life lesson and contributing to “the slow” in SLO life.
It may be time to consider adding designated lanes for skateboarders and those who gad about on electric scooters. Color-coded and coordinated pathways should eliminate any confusion as to which route to take. To complement “off-sidewalk” curbs, planters and barriers, engineers might design and install soft-glow recessed, mood curb lighting. Might they add figures holding up catchy signs like “Slow Your Roll” or “Adults at Play.” Hefty concrete plinths, with statues of city planners, might add to curb appeal.
The geometry and overwrought composition of lines, stripes, arrows, chevrons, and traffic icons might be enhanced, made more relevant, by painting emojis on street surfaces—the ubiquitous smiley face, winged hearts, kiss imprints—designed to generate positive vibes for “The Happiest Town in America” as citizens slowly traverse its domain.
To generate revenue, the idea of treating the street like a horizontal billboard seems to be a fiscally wise investment. Examples of such street advertisements might include: Lincoln Deli Three Blocks Ahead, Scout Coffee Award-Winning Establishment Just Ahead, Passing Skyline Tattoo Studio. Could local authors have the covers of recently published books painted on the road, or would that be a form of roadkill?
Those who monitor parking meters and pay stations could take a lesson from the Coinstar system and install scoops so consumers can throw in forty coins at once, rather than tediously inserting them one by one in the narrow coin slot.
Roundabouts where two streets intersect, with stop signs installed on all four corners are—it is fair to say—a partial nod to how roundabouts are designed and work in other countries. Stop rather than yield … since that is the modus operandi, why have a roundabout at all? Or are those miniature circle islands another way to clutter the path taken and impede people who are simply trying to navigate the good life. Distracted driving takes many forms. Have SLO city planners avoided this pothole or have they fallen into it?
Al Schnupp
San Luis Obispo
This article appears in Jul 31 – Aug 10, 2025.
Interesting what 72 years of living in a car dominated society does to one’s mindset about transportation infrastructure. You could always move to Osos and drive as fast as you want with their beautiful lack of sidewalks and street signs. Take a mile walk and bike around Oceano and then around SLO and report back on where you feel more comfortable existing outside of a personal vehicle.
Recent bike fatalities occurred, I believe, on South Higuera and Foothill Blvd. Why are designated bike paths created on Chorro and Ramona and not on streets where deaths occur?
Choose a designated bike path in SLO where bikers come upon a stop sign. Sit there for an hour and calculate the percentage of bikers who actually obey the traffic sign and stop. Let the public know your results.
Well, with construction starting on Higuera complete streets this year and Foothill complete streets in the final planning stages, your arguments about those streets don’t seem to hold much water. Just like those two streets, Chorro is identified as a high injury/fatality corridor and improvements were put into place to help reduce those numbers. Improvements to streets like Chorro and Ramona provide safer routes for pedestrians and cyclists that keep them off of even more dangerous adjacent roads such as Foothill and Santa Rosa. It really is baffling to see someone put forward an argument against infrastructure which objectively improves safety for all road users, not just those who are in cars.
“It’s my turn”
“No, it’s my turn”
“Fuck you it’s my turn”
” I’ll kill you”
“No. I’ll kill you”
Have fun out there dipshits. Follow the fucking rules and work together. Nope. That’s probably too hard for some of you smug SLO assholes.
Carson. 72. I suspect this was not a randomly picked number. That is my exact age. Did coming up with this number require a bit of research, whose findings are published as a not-so-subtle putdown? Do you hold my age against me? Might this be discrimination in the form of ageism? I am not interested in your age and would not reference it in a public post. So, curious, is there a subtext to 72? Do you think I don’t walk, ride bike, have a vested interest in my community and safety? You suggest I move to another town. That is like saying if I object to Trump policies I should leave the USA. This is a specious argument. I can work to implement change right where I live.
Al:
Our economy is dead, sir. I’m guessing you are a Boomer, since Boomers are the only people who read the New Times or post comments here. I think some of that Orange Sunshine you dosed on at Woodstock hasn’t left your body because your contribution reads like something from someone still tripping the light fantastic. The entire fantasy you described in written form, is presumably from someone who may have escaped from or never really had to live like hamsters on a wheel. The dollar has lost like 80 percent of its value since the early 70s and lost 10 percent of what remained in the last 6 months as compared to a basket of 6 other currencies. If you are a Boomer, this would mean nothing to you. The idea that your future has been foreclosed isn’t something your generation ever had to consider. Your parent’s generation fought and died in WWII to give you the economy of the only industrialized country left on the planet, and with that, so much wealth you could actually dream, create art, music, have children, own homes, vacation, build wealth, move up socially. You have been untouched by repeated economic failures and unprecedented wealth concentration. As a result, you continue to fantasize or dream of worlds to be, as seen in your letter. The rest of us don’t have the time.
Those younger than you will never know what a life like that feels like. Maybe that is a good thing, rather than live in the moment and squander money and opportunity, like so many of you have, we treat every dollar like it might be our last. Your generation lived like trust fund babies, squandering everything my grandparents generation gave this nation. Your disgusting generation leaves this country a smoking ruin, shame on all of you and please stay off my side of the street.
I know why they called my late grandparent’s generation the “Greatest Generation.” You people are a joke.
ROBPETERFORPAUL:
I am not any kind of censor or in charge of this forum nor will I “report” you, but do you think you can not use fould language when posting? What does it serve, other than to show the limitations of your own vocabulary? There’s a million ways to insult people linguistically without them even knowing or without using curse words if you try hard enough. Anyone can cuss, but not everyone can do the same thing using non-curse words. It’s pretty fun to do so actually.
Nothing feels better than to walk away from someone so ignorant they don’t even know you insulted them, their friends, and their family five times in a conversation that lasted no more than a minute. Why? Because their grasp of the English language is so limited they think YOU are the idiot.
Have you noticed, you are the only person here cussing.
Boomers are so fake, even Gloria Steinem was a CIA asset, “Steinem defended the CIA relationship, saying: “In my experience The Agency was completely different from its image; it was liberal, nonviolent and honorable.” [https://uscpublicdiplomacy.org/blog/femini….]