[{ "name": "Ad - Medium Rectangle CC01 - 300x250", "id": "AdMediumRectangleCC01300x250", "class": "inlineCenter", "insertPoint": "8", "component": "2963441", "requiredCountToDisplay": "12" },{ "name": "Ad - Medium Rectangle LC01 - 300x250", "id": "AdMediumRectangleCC01300x250", "class": "inlineCenter", "insertPoint": "18", "component": "2963441", "requiredCountToDisplay": "22" },{ "name": "Ad - Medium Rectangle LC09 - 300x250", "id": "AdMediumRectangleLC09300x250", "class": "inlineCenter", "insertPoint": "28", "component": "3252660", "requiredCountToDisplay": "32" }]
Nothing humanizes the police more than a salacious story about a torrid affair gone wrong, amirite? Such stories remind us that police are people just like you and me (Well, not me. I'm an office machine devoid of sexual needs). You and police officers, on the other hand, need on-duty oral sex and have favorite make-out spots (in this case Judkins Middle School and the Shell Beach tennis courts).
The affair in question came to light after a former (name redacted!) KSBY reporter dutifully reported her affair with now-resigned Pismo Beach Police Sgt. Adrian Souza to Police Chief Jeff Smith, explaining the affair began in July 2020 after Souza pulled the woman over for not wearing a seatbelt while looking sexy AF (OK, I added the sexy AF part).
Apparently, the former reporter wants to be a police officer just like her former elicit lover, yo, Adrian!
"I'm like, I didn't want them to know what I'd been doing with one of their officers, like that, that makes me look bad," she inarticulately explained to Pismo Police attorney Greg Palmer. "I'm not innocent in that, like I, I didn't wanna be known as the blow-job girl of some badge-bunny status when I'm tryin' to be an officer, but then, you know, the more and more oral boards I did, and I knew I had one coming up, I was like I gotta say somethin', 'cause that's, that's not a good officer, that's not, like I, I have to come forward with this and let them take care of that."
I'm guessing the unnamed woman was not an on-air reporter. Sheesh! Anyway, she sounds tragically human and would no doubt make a deeply flawed police officer who someday soon may be patrolling our streets. If you're not going to wear a seatbelt, stay sexy AF, SLO County!
Hey Paso Robles, how're your cannabis regulations going? Do they make sense yet? Paso has no brick-and-mortar dispensaries and only allows medical marijuana deliveries, but since mobile cannabis dispensaries are regulated by the state, non-Paso companies have no compelling reason not to deliver to Paso, which means Paso isn't collecting taxes on recreational pot entering the city. D'oh!
Perhaps worse, the medical mobile dispensaries are getting hosed by being forbidden from expanding into the recreational market. Their only silver lining is you only need to be 18 to get medical marijuana, and any pot-hungry 18-year-old with a computer knows 20 minutes and $80 will score you an online prescription.
According to expert Ajay Kolluri, regulations like Paso's are adding to a statewide problem of a manufacturing glut and a retail bottleneck, which adds to a continuation of the illicit market. Kolluri estimates SLO County is short nine cannabis retailers, and Paso could generate $920,000 in tax revenue if it would allow two dispensaries.
The Paso City Council is mostly for exploring the idea, except for John Hammon: "There's plenty of places to get the drugs, and I don't think we need to have it in Paso Robles."
Got wine? Sigh.
New Times conservative opinion columnist John Donegan got one thing right in his pro-gun diatribe "Conservatives and guns" (July 14, 2022), when he wrote, "It never makes sense to allow people who do not understand a subject to regulate it." Donegan has once again proven his understanding of any given topic is limited to overused conservative talking points.
He falsely trots out one knuckleheaded falsehood after another, my favorite being this: "A ban on what you call 'assault rifles' would only be cosmetic, as these function just like other rifles long used for hunting and target shooting, and other guns are just as deadly."
Donegan's ignorance is as dumbfounding as it is profligate. First, traditional hunting rifles, while absolutely deadly, are usually bolt action, not semiautomatic. A proficient hunter prides him- or herself on only needing one shot.
Semiautomatic assault rifles fire with every squeeze of the trigger and use detachable magazines, making firing and reloading much quicker than a traditional hunting rifle. Sure, you can argue that barrel shrouds, pistol grips, and folding stocks are "cosmetic," but the barrel shroud protects the user from a barrel super-heated by multiple rounds fired in quick succession as does the pistol grip, and a folding stock allows easier concealment of these deadly weapons.
Yes, a traditional hunting rifle can kill, but not nearly as efficiently as the military-style assault weapons favored by mass shooters. During the 10 years of the Federal Assault Weapons Ban (1994-2004), the number of people killed in mass shootings generally went down (the exception being 1999 due to the Columbine High School massacre), and since the ban was lifted, the number of mass shootings per year has doubled. Yes, there are undoubtedly more reasons than the ban's sunset clause for the increase, and Donegan is right that our country is already flooded with these deadly weapons. His negligent response seems to be, "Oh well, nothing to be done now. Arm everybody and let the bodies fall where they may."
In the last decade, gun manufacturers have made more than $1 billion selling military-style assault weapons. I wonder if the big business of blood and bullets plays into this conservative yes-man's pro-gun calculations? Δ
The Shredder is armed to the paper-shredding teeth. Send comments and suggestions to [email protected].
Showing 1-2 of 2