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Monument to love 

Is it just me, or does it seem like there's a budding bromance brewing on the San Luis Obispo County Board of Supervisors? Once constipated with consternation at the audacity of the other's ideology, 2nd District Supervisor Bruce Gibson and 1st District Supervisor John Peschong—or Brohn and Juce as I like to call them—seem to be cuddling up to one another.

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Step aside, 4th District Supervisor Lynn Compton and 5th District Supervisor Debbie Arnold, there's new board BFFs on their way to center stage and they're not even on the same side! Reaching across the aisle for a warm embrace of compromise instead of standing steadfast in opposition to their colleagues. What?? Am I living in an alternate universe?

Although the unlikely duo hasn't quite made it to the joke-cracking status of the much-tittered over love between presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush, don't worry. Brohn and Juce will get there—they could even have their own song. For now, at least, they're tag-teaming their way to another much-needed committee!

Bringing together diversified and opposing interests to actually get the ideologically separated Board of Supervisors to come together on a new way to pay for affordable housing? Check! Moving on!

The county's special fire districts are facing financial troubles? Never fear, Brohn and Juce are here!

SLO County's citizens don't want to pay what it actually costs to run adequate fire services. No new taxes! They spout into the microphone at public meetings. What they don't seem to understand is you pay for what you get. The Templeton Fire District can't even pay to keep its station staffed 24 hours a day! If my cardboard shack under the bridge behind the office was burning down, I would definitely want the closest fire station to be fully staffed and ready to save my ass.

It looks like, for at least four out of the seven remaining fire districts, dissolution is the only option unless the residents they serve, or the county, cough up some more moolah.

Brohn and Juce to the rescue!! Duhn, duhn, na!!!

Maybe they can help bridge the divide in the city of San Luis Obispo over development, because I think the SLO City Council has had enough of the NIMBY rhetoric. You should have heard them at the Jan. 15 meeting. They were revved up and ready to scold.

One of embattled developer Loren Riehl's student housing projects with a small number of "affordable units" was before council members again—and yes, the same ol' cast of characters paraded their discontent during public comment. The Allan Coopers and Mila Vujovich-La Barres of SLO Town were upset about: Traffic. Congestion. Height. Width. Poor fit with city character. Blocked viewsheds.

Nothing new there. Plus those arguments don't work. Geezus, you broken records—you need to figure something else out!

And the city's response is just as predictable: We need housing. The state is forcing us to allow development like this. Our hands are tied.

I'm so sick of this stupid debate. And I ain't the only one.

At least one resident is so fed up with the City Council's decisions on allowing development to take place that she wrote this to council members on Jan. 11: "I would like to come to the meeting but am sooo tired of sitting there, listening to the developer's bullshit, sharing my thoughts and feelings, only to hear the staff tell you what to do. So if you have already decided, I'll just stay home. Please let me know."

Well, Debbie Anthony, hopefully you did stay home, because I do believe they had made up their minds!

"Our City Council has an obligation to get some housing built," Councilmember Carlyn Christianson told meeting attendees. "People just don't want a development. That's fine. But continuing to make up reasons why not and having them change based on the development ... . I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of hearing that. I don't like it. You're going to make me mad when you talk about it. I want to hear real problems."

The real problem, I guess, is that the BlackHorse Espresso and Bakery on Foothill is stuck in the middle of this mess. Owner Tom Brown is not down with Riehl's development because the coffee spot's lease is good through 2024.

"I have every intent of staying right there and operating a business," Brown said.

Sounds like it could be an actual, real, live problem. Neither Christianson nor any other City Council member addressed it.

That whole Teddy Roosevelt statue proposed for Mitchell Park didn't get addressed either, but I'll take care of that, since we are all apparently weighing in on the whole monuments to white males debate started by SLO Mayor Heidi Harmon.

First of all, this monument deal has been going on since at least 2016, so it's not some new issue, and yes, it's dumb. Thanks ex-City Councilmember Jon Ashbaugh. Teddy was great and all, but does one visit to a park warrant spending $150,000 for a bronze sculpture?

Second, there are too many monuments to white males. It's oppressive.

Third, if President Donald Trump visited San Luis Obispo and gave a speech, would we put up a monument to him in 115 years? I hope not. Δ

The Shredder thinks a monument to an office machine by SLO Creek would be spectacular at shredder@newtimesslo.com.

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