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Everybody jump ... to conclusions! 

Holy Chicago moonshiners! We haven't seen action like this since Eliot Ness set his moonshine-busting sights on Al Capone!

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Grover Beach recently had a swarm of law enforcement agents descend on 805 Beach Breaks, the county's first legal brick-and-mortar pot dispensary, shuttering it for half a day as they investigated ... something.

"Month Long Investigation Leads Cannabis Compliance Team to Serve Search Warrants in Grover Beach and Los Alamos," a Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Office press release screamed. It went on to explain how "the Sheriff's Cannabis Compliance Team (CCT) served a search warrant at 805 Beach Breaks" in a multi-agency bust that included the Sheriff's Criminal Investigations Bureau, Santa Maria Police Department's Special Enforcement Team, the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Office, the Grover Beach Police Department, and the California Department of Fish and Wildlife.

Really? Fish and Wildlife? Couldn't you guys find a mall cop to drive his golf cart over and help out, too? Must have been a slow day at the office, eh?

In Los Alamos, the press release explained, law enforcement "located the largest marijuana growing operation they have investigated since the team formed in June of 2018." Did you hear that? The largest! Bigger than Trump's inaugural!

"While the investigation is still ongoing, this case involves the issue of fraudulent licensing and the black-market diversion of cannabis," the press release continued. "This diversion of cannabis into the illicit market is a public safety concern in that it doesn't ensure the proper testing and licensing of the cannabis."

Plus it probably avoids taxes, right? Quick question to all the stoners out there: What did you do to ensure your pot was safe before Big Brother made sure it was properly tested?

More importantly, what did 805 Beach Breaks have to do with this Los Alamos grow? Good question! No answer! The cannabis shop is back up and running, but that hasn't stopped people from freaking out with a chorus of "I told you so" about the dangers of legal marijuana.

Even if 805 Beach Breaks purchased its product from an out-of-compliance grower, should they be held liable? Does 7-Eleven have to check to make sure its Pabst Blue Ribbon distributor is in compliance? The main point here is no one knows what's going on yet, and the police ain't talking. But that didn't stop gifted amateur gadfly Kevin P. Rice from writing to scold me to "eat crow" for tut-tutting former Grover City Councilmember Debbie Peterson's claims about Natural Healing Center owner Helios Dayspring and corrupt politicians on the take from the cannabis industry.

Gee, Kevin, do you know what's going on at 805 Beach Breaks? No? Eat a pot brownie and chill out, bro.

Personally, I think the po-po just miss the good ol' days of busting pot growers and sellers. I know it seemed like when we legalized weed, it would free up law enforcement to go after more dangerous drugs like opioids and meth, but let's face it: A lot of cops still have a hard-on for pot, and even though the majority of state voters approved recreational cannabis, there are people out there who do not approve!

In fact, some people simply hate druggies and would be perfectly happy to let them die. After New Times reporter Chris McGuinness wrote about how SLO County was pursuing more drug treatment programs—by allowing the county Health Agency to apply for a $150,000 grant from the California Department of Health Care Services to expand access to treatment in three additional locations in North and South County—some of our Facebook readers let us know what they thought about drug users.

Alison Edwards wrote that it was a "waste of resources," but my favorite was Bernie Reis, who wrote, "Everything has to be made easier for all these losers. ... These people are destroying themselves on the backs of the hardworking citizenry. Stop wasting taxpayer money and better yet, stop taxing hard working, law abiding citizens for those who create their own destiny. Life is not easy, it's hard, pull your big boy/girl pants up and help yourself. Just read about 'snowplow' generation where everyone is clearing the paths for all these losers."

I wonder if Bernie's a Trump supporter. "Build the wall! Just not with my tax money!"

Hey all, the Health Agency wants to prevent opioid overdose deaths. If you don't think that's worth spending money on, you've probably never met anyone with addiction problems.

You know what else our Facebook readers are upset about? The San Luis Obispo County Council of Government's (SLOCOG) recommendation to close the El Campo intersection on Highway 101, where Cal Poly freshman Jordan Grant was killed by a driver turning left across the highway.

Jack Scagnetti wrote, "Tell the SLOCOG we appreciate their opinion and to pound sand. Thanks!"

Ryan Burmaster wrote, "No. Intersections shouldn't be closed because someone couldn't drive. However, our highways, thoroughfares, and main arteries of transportation do need to be kept open."

Coleen Tooley wrote, "What about the people that use it to get to work. If u close it their compute will be longer."

"Don't tread on me! Give me convenience, or give me death!"

Mmm. I love the smell of compassion in the morning. Δ

The Shredder saunters to conclusions. Send ideas and comments to shredder@newtimesslo.com.

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