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Don't call me 

I get a lot of emails. Some people send me news tips, some people give me a pat on my little Shreddery back, and some people rant and rave.

Last week, I got a ranter—and I. Just. Have. To. Share. It's too good not to.

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This guy, whose email address starts with snaketail (what's that all about anyway?), was pissed that I dare call Pacific Gas & Electric out for slacking on its maintenance, causing fires, and jacking up our electricity bills because of it. I do declare! He told me it was an impossible task to upkeep the miles and miles of electrical lines criss-crossing our state.

Impossible, huh? Well, that's the definition of what PG&E is supposed to do: Maintain safe infrastructure and deliver electricity to ratepayers.

"These men and few women risk their lives everday to keep electricity and communications to households so you and your neighbor can watch fucking cat videos," he yelled via email.

First of all, I wasn't calling out the actual utility workers—which I'm starting to guess snaketail is—who definitely deserve a pat on the back for helping keep the lights on. I was merely calling out the malfeasance of a corporate giant that put itself and us in the very situation we are in. Bankrupt, on fire, and possibly getting the lights turned off for weeks at a time.

And second of all—it's 2019. Nobody cares about the cat that's scared of its own shadow anymore. Nobody! It's all about the dogs! Corgis doing corgi things. Labrador puppies falling down stairs. Pit bulls nuzzling duckies.

This snakey guy is also very jealous of the firefighters who put their lives on the line in the pursuit of their job.

"It cracks me up how everyone wants to suck some firefighters cock when we are out here EVERY DAY performing our jobs as best we can with what we have. Imagine, if you will, your life without communications, electricity and natural gas," snaketail ranted.

Well, snaketail—if that is your real name—we might very well get the chance to see what our lives will be like without electricity in the near future. You know, depending on how PG&E feels about weather conditions and whatnot.

And folks in San Luis Obispo will definitely get the opportunity to see what life is like without natural gas and what it means to be completely dependent on a shaky electrical grid to service all of their daily resource wants and needs. SLO City Council decided it would be best to require all new construction to be pre-wired for electric retrofitting, introduce an offset program that requires buildings with natural gas to pay an in-lieu fee or to retrofit an old building for all electric, and mandate solar installations on nonresidential buildings.

At its Sept. 3 meeting, which lasted until midnight (geez, people), it sounded like the City Council wasn't really in tune with the desires of its residents. Resident Ruth Ann Moore's comment on the matter kind of sums the whole thing up.

"I just don't like that all of this has been pushed upon us so quickly," she said.

Yeah. I don't really either. First of all, I don't trust our electrical grid to be able to handle it! Sorry, not sorry, snaketail, but it's a freaking fact, baby! Cal Poly electrical engineering professor Art MacCarley told the City Council that putting all of our resource needs into one basket "through an already vulnerable grid, is not a good idea."

"It actually puts us at risk," he told them.

Plus, it's going to jack up utility bills, which Councilmember Erika Stewart astutely pointed out benefits the wealthy, who will get the option of having a choice. And what is SLOTown if not built for the wealthy, white, and retired?

It feels a little forced. I get it, Mayor Heidi "Impatient to be the Change I Want to See" Harmon, Berkeley already did it—and that was like last month! Damnit!

But if you can't be first, why would you want to be second? There's something to be said about watching a policy unfold somewhere else and learning from the mistakes that come with it. Because the best-intentioned policies almost always have bad side effects.

Don't even get me started on the fledgling cannabis industry whose rules are changing all the damn time. Nobody can figure their lives out when it comes to regulating, permitting, growing, selling, etc. Just look at Morro Bay! Connected Morro Bay Boulevard is basically suing the city because it didn't get chosen to do business in the seaside berg! Temper tantrum!

But Heidi don't give no fucks!

"We know this isn't risk free," she said at the meeting, but climate change! It's risky!

Meanwhile, Assemblymember Jordan Cunningham is late to the party when it comes to pushing for nuclear energy to be considered a renewable source of electricity! PG&E (yep, them again) isn't turning the Diablo Canyon Power Plant decommissioning bus around, and it's the very last nuclear power plant in the state.

Why didn't you introduce your proposed state constitutional amendment when you first got into office? It seems a little fishy. Anytime you want to give me all of the deets, feel free to send an email. Δ

The Shredder is risk free, guaranteed. Email comments to shredder@newtimesslo.com.

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