Do away with public education 

As we all know, government doesn’t work. The best way to accomplish anything in the United States is through the free market system. We need to fight against government intrusion into our lives and especially into our wallets.

With this in mind, I would like to offer a modest proposal to end the crisis in education in these United States: Let’s do away with public education once and for all.

 Every day we read about lazy, greedy, and incompetent teachers who abuse the system through interference by their bullying unions. Every day we read about waste and corruption by the federal and state Departments of Education. Every day we are asked to pay, with our tax money, for failing schools. Now is the time to say “No more!” No more tax money to educate illegal aliens; no more money for effete, liberal professors in public colleges to teach their socialist views. Now is the time to end this public education failure.

Let the free market take over education. Such corporations as Wal-Mart, McDonalds, or Starbucks could create and run schools. Religious organizations could continue and expand in the field; except Muslims, of course. Entrepreneurs could start their own universities free from the restrictions of accreditation or accountability. There would be no more expensive Federal Department of Education, State Department of Education, Regents, School Boards, or school districts. No more battles for funding, salaries, pensions, health benefits curriculum, and testing.

If citizens can’t afford the costs of these new private schools, let them home school their children. How difficult could it be to teach children, when they seem to be taught by liberal pinheads who are only interested in their next paycheck? Perhaps corporations would consider leveraging reduced-cost education for mandatory employment: indenturing, if you will.

We can reduce our tax burden by taking the simple step of getting government out of the education business. The free market is the answer to our present education cesspool.

As Jonathan Swift wrote in 1972, “I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the publik good of my country…”