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Celebrate by crying 

I'm so glad that everyone took the time to remember Martin Luther King Jr. on Monday, Jan. 15, honoring a man who put so much of himself into advocating equal rights for all that he was assassinated for his trouble.

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Well, some people marched in the streets. Others just acted like idiots on social media. For instance: all those who took the time out of their day on MLK Day to comment on the New Times Facebook feed about a Grover Beach mother who was deported after fighting Immigrations and Customs Enforcement for 12 years. Alison Edwards typed these words that day: "Follow the law!! No body feels sorry for you."

Neofita Silva was certainly attempting to follow all the legal roads to citizenship. It's simply totally legal for ICE to be an asshole.

Legal beagle Alison also said it would be fine if the Indians had kicked her grandparents out of the country, especially if it was "the law." Something tells me that you and your legal white privilege would actually flip the F out. But I swear, not one single person would feel sorry for you.

Jay King told everyone he'd like a GoFundMe account for all the "illegal shit" he does.

The GoFundMe is actually for Silva's motherless, income-less children, because their parent got deported to Mexico on Jan. 3. Sheesh! Hey King, why don't you fill me in on some of this illegal stuff you do and send me your address? I'll start a GoFundMe account for your legal defense after I call the cops.

More than half a century after a gigantic push toward equal rights for all, it feels like we haven't moved an inch. The president of the United States is calling countries like Haiti shitholes—and high-ranking U.S. government officials that Donny Douchebag appointed are denying it to Congress even after taking an oath to "tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

If anyplace is a shithole, it's these United States of Trumplandia, where the rich get richer and everyone else gets embarrassed.

It doesn't exactly feel like a time to celebrate how far we've come, which is why I'm so glad that 1st District SLO County Supervisor John Peschong took time out of his busy schedule of engagements to mansplain MLK via Twitter.

"Martin Luther King Jr. (January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was an American clergyman in the African-American Civil Rights Movement. President Ronald Reagan signed Martin Luther King Jr. day into law making it a U.S. federal holiday."

Wait. Are you lauding MLK or Reagan? Thanks so much for telling us we have President Ronald Reagan to thank for this wonderful federal holiday.

You kind of make MLK sound like a whole lotta nobody. FYI: MLK was a leader in the civil rights movement. He perpetuated change, spoke out against oppression, marched for equality, and challenged the status quo. Ronald Reagan reinforced anti-gay sentiments during the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s, which affected mostly gay men. He didn't even acknowledge the epidemic publicly until more than 5,000 people were dead. He didn't give a speech about it until 25,000 had died. His administration officials made homophobic jokes about it when reporters asked them questions.

But Peschong banging ye ol' conservative gong is totally right on, Reagan should definitely be lauded for his civil rights advocacy. Thanks for signing the legislation passed by Congress in 1983, you great American bro, you.

Speaking of bros, Cal Poly marchers are begging administrators, campus cops, and the SLO Police Department to do better when it comes to addressing rape culture on campus! I'm totally down with that and with students who choose to act like adults, which is more than I can say for the SLOPD. That department still hasn't said a word about what it's doing with Detective Sgt. Chad Pfarr and the statements he made about women making up assaults because they blacked out from drinking too much.

Well, student Katie Ettle, who spoke at the March Against Rape Culture #MeToo rally, wants answers dammit. About that and about why the Cal Poly Title IX Office can't seem to get the job done when it comes to addressing sexual assault complaints made by students. Frankly, I want answers too. But more than that, it'd be nice to see some action on the part of law enforcement. It's time for campus and the SLOPD to do more than provide a little bit of lip service about how they treat victims of sexual assault, because it just sounds like a bunch of hogwash.

That's kind of how SLO Mayor Heidi Harmon and City Councilmember Aaron Gomez sounded when they tut-tutted open space lovers who got emotional at the Jan. 16 City Council meeting on night hiking, basically saying that if they cared as much about things like the recently passed plastic bottle ban, then this environmental movement could really make some progress. I'm starting to feel like the bottle ban is the keystone achievement of the new SLO City Council, and I'm just about over it. Are we going to have to hear about it every meeting?

Hey guys, people are allowed to cry about access to open space if they want to, even if it is a little over-dramatic. Because it's, like, their party, you know? What I want to know is: When is your party going to include more than a bottle ban? Δ

The Shredder needs a bottle of whiskey and a good long cry. Send comments to shredder@newtimesslo.com.


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