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Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye 

It's a sad, sad day. Everybody's leaving. Everybody. KCOY's general manager, Dave Ulrickson, announced that he's retiring after 42 years of broadcasting, which is the equivalent of about 21 years in the print industry. Those TV cameras certainly take their toll. You know Rick Martel? He's only 36. Yikes.

So long, Dave, and thanks for everything you've done mainly for helming the "other" local TV station, you know, the one that's not KSBY. I don't have anything against that outlet, per se, but the NBC affiliate peacock mascot really freaks me out. Your CBS eye is much more comforting, like that one on the pyramid on $1 bills.

In other departure news, I heard that Abraham Hyatt is leaving the Tribune after, uh, about a year? That works out to about, let's see, almost two years in the broadcast industry. Word on the street is that he's leaving his post at the Morro Bay/Los Osos helm to search for greener journalistic pastures to the north. I'm sure he won't be sorry to say goodbye to Joey Racano, Lisa Schicker, Richard LeGros, Julie Tacker, Pandora Nash-Karner, or anyone else who's a notable name in the sewer mess. I'm sure there are people in Morro Bay that he's not going to miss either, but who are they? The guys at Duke Energy? Sure, he's not going to miss Duke.

I wax sentimental because Abraham, if you didn't know, cut his journalistic teeth down at the Sun in Santa Maria, then started chomping away at SLO County with New Times. We had some good times and he fed me some good lines, even if he did at one point claim to be a vegetarian while simultaneously describing a recent meal of oxtail. Yeah, oxtail. I try to eat animal parts as far away from the tail as possible, and real vegetarians, come to think of it, try to eat no animal parts at all. What gives?

I think his "vegetarian" label was just something that didn't stick, much like his time at the Tribune. Good luck, Abe. If you're leaving, I can call you that. Also, you owe a certain Sun editor the opportunity to write on your head with a Sharpie, if my sources are to be trusted.

To top it all off, even Glen Starkey is saying goodbye. He's packing his bags and heading out of SLO.

But don't cry. He'll be back when his vacation's over in a couple weeks. He's not quitting or anything. As far as I know, we'll be stuck with him until he's old and gray and writing about how loud bands are these days and how it used to be about "the music." I don't know, though. He doesn't talk to me much anymore.

But enough about Glen. The big flying fish of the moment is Father Charles Tilley, principal of Mission College Preparatory High School in San Luis Obispo. Or, rather, former principal of Mission College Preparatory High School in San Luis Obispo.

Chuck (can I call you Chuck?) resigned on Aug. 21, saying that he'll miss walking with this community on its journey forward, though his message on the school's web site still says "Happy Easter!" a bit of a mixed message.

Forgive me, Father, but the timing of your departure is a wee bit odd. I mean, school is just starting. If you were planning on retiring, why do so at the outset the academic year? Most Rev. Sylvester Ryan, Bishop of Monterey, now has to put together a search committee to find a new father while all these kids continue their classes as scheduled. Still, I suppose you had your reasons.

Nonetheless, please don't damn me to hell or whack my hand with a ruler or whatever it is you'd do to a student for asking: This wouldn't have anything to do with that whole Tom Mott incident, would it? In case you forgot, Tom resigned from the school a while back, surrounded by allegations of illegal recruiting. It's always the same: You scout one too many players from a different zip code or time zone or continent, and the crowd eats you alive. Too many Cameroonian giants spoil the game, or something like that.

Bishop Sylvester said that it's important now to "put behind us the negativity of the past and work positively for the good of MCP," and I agree. The past, however, can be an excellent teacher, as I'm sure the father or sister (or is it brother or mother or none of the above?) who teaches history at Mission Prep will agree.

Anyway, someone was going to raise an eyebrow at the timing, and I figured that it might as well be me. I'm that guy the one who says what everyone else is thinking, and then gets glared at by those very same people for saying it. Bunch of hypocrites.

Come to think of it, I might just join the crowd and exit stage left myself. It's not like I have a lot to keep me here: no family, no friends not even a goldfish.

But at least I have you, loyal readers. And you'll never leave. You can't. You're stuck in your rut, and you'll stay there until it becomes your grave.

Boy, this column got really dark really fast.

I'm leaving.

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