Monday, April 24, 2017     Volume: 31, Issue: 39

Weekly Poll
Are you concerned about the recent deaths in the SLO County jail?

Yes, there are obviously some very severe problems and we need a change in leadership.
Yes, but more people die in local hospitals than in our jail. A few deaths per year is to be expected.
No, I think the press is exaggerating. These things happen.
No, I'm not concerned. These people are criminals.

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New Times / News

The following article was posted on May 22nd, 2013, in the New Times - Volume 27, Issue 43 [ Submit a Story ]
The following articles were printed from New Times [] - Volume 27, Issue 43

Cougars & Mustangs


As someone who once sort of learned how to give CPR—or at least was supposed to—I know all about medical stuff and how bodies do things. As a result, I’ve been poking a collapsed Cuesta student with a stick for the last 45 minutes trying to see if she’s dead. So far, my results are inconclusive. I have reason to believe that she’s in a coma brought about by exhaustion from a grueling week of finals. Are there any other surviving Cuesta people out there? ... Hello?

I’ll just pretend this cadaver has asked me how she can spend her nice, fresh new summer break. Why, good question, Brittany! And congratulations on surviving the week! Let’s take a look at some of the wonderful ways you can spend your summer!

Firstly, I’m sure you’re eager to return to school, so don’t forget that priority registration has started for fall 2013’s classes. You’d best sign up fast; underwater basket weaving is quite popular! But really, if you want the schedule that’s perfect for you, you gotta leap on that train right away.

In fact, if you’re particularly eager, go ahead and take part in summer classes at Cuesta, which are also naturally undergoing registration right now. Somehow that doesn’t seem like the best thing for you though, Brittany, but I’m speaking generally enough as it is, so shush.

Of course, there’s only so much school to be had over the empty heated months. Are you a singer, Brittany? If so, you can try taking part in the latest Eric Whitacre Virtual Choir—a neat experience featuring the ever-popular composer helping people from all over the world to record themselves singing a part to whichever of his songs has been allotted, to be mashed together to make one giant, global choir. It’s really quite amazing. You’ve got hundreds of musicians who have never even been on the same continent, let alone in the same room, joining forces in a gorgeous auditory Eden. Even better, this one’s gonna be performed for the Queen on her birthday. No lie! If you’d like to learn more, get ready to learn and record your part before the 10th of June, and visit

There’s plenty of other escapades to be had that I shall attempt to tell you of, and don’t forget to pick up New Times’ very own Summer Guide—which already came out, but you can pick up a copy at the office at 1010 Marsh St. in downtown SLO. Make this a good break, Cougars! You’ve certainly earned it!

Now, back to poking.


Intern Chris White-Sanborn congratulates Cuesta students on surviving. You’re next, Cal Poly! Send your collegiate news to