New Times / Commentary
The following articles were printed from New Times [newtimesslo.com] - Volume 27, Issue 43
A shot to the heart
By MAEVA CONSIDINE
If you’ve ever woken up in a rose bush, covered in glitter and wearing a banana suit, tequila was probably to blame. If you’ve ever found yourself in your living room watching Three’s Company, drunkenly ordering an edible bouquet to be sent to an ex, tequila was probably to blame. If you can’t remember your junior or senior year of college … tequila was probably to blame.
But tequila is also to blame for lots of touching, sweet moments. Like the time I witnessed a man in cutoffs and a bowtie, walking his guinea pig on a leash through Central Park.
Let’s just say it: Tequila is a good friggin’ time (until 7 a.m. when your roommate opens the curtains and eats the last piece of couch pizza before you can grab it), and if you drink responsibly, tequila can bring the party to life.
That’s why I’m so excited to turn over my sobriety to the Tequila Festival in Avila Beach on May 25 at noon.
This is the Tequila Festival’s second year in Avila Beach, which means I’ve had a year to bulk up my drinking abilities, and this time around I’m ready to play with the big dogs.
It should go without saying, but this is a 21-and-older event that gets you six half-ounce shots, a shot glass, and some party shades for only $45 a person (just think of all that tequila, people!).
There will also be live music courtesy of Kinky and Diego’s Umbrella, cocktails, Mexican beers, food from Ventana Grill, and so much more. Body shots anyone? Just kidding, I don’t know if they do that, but if they do … you know where to find me. I’ll be wearing a glitter-soaked banana suit.
Tequila, for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, is a distilled beverage made from the blue agave plant, which comes primarily from the city of Tequila (40 miles from Guadalajara). According to Wikipedia, Mexican laws state that “Tequila can be produced only in the state of Jalisco and limited regions in the states of Guanajuato, Michoacán, Nayarit, and Tamaulipas.” The United States officially recognizes that tequila can only be produced in Mexico, although through an agreement, bulk amounts can be shipped to be bottled in the U.S. of A.
Tequila is usually 76 to 80 proof, which translates to a 76 to 80 percent guarantee of terrifyingly embarrassing Facebook photos you have to “un-tag” the next morning (just tell your mother not to look at any photo albums labeled “Spring Break” or “Blackout 2013”).
But seriously, all joking aside: Drink responsibly so everyone can have a great time. And, for the love of all that is good and sacred in the world, designate a sober driver (and buy her a virgin margarita).
For more info on the Tequila Festival, visit facebook.com/events/270401169762841.
Maeva Considine hasn’t spoken to tequila since that one night in college. Please send her your food-and-drink-related news to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.
SMPD receives fake news award Welcome to Sanctuary Valley: Undocumented immigrants have a safe haven in Northern Santa Barbara County Open and closed: Ad hoc committees are often exempt from California's open meetings law Proposed bill would confirm Camp 4 as part of Chumash reservation Orcutt rapper found not guilty of making threats in song Minors get prison time for stabbing homicide Political Watch 3/23/17